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Osama, Salman Rushdie Found Hiding In Same Cave
by Mark on 12/12/2004 (0)

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KABUL - A shocking interview with a Taliban defector has revealed Osama Ben Laden and "The Satanic Verses" author Salman Rushdie living mere meters apart in a dank Taliban dugout 75 miles south of Kabul

Ex-Taliban defector Alalmahula Malik Ahamad poured a brisk cup of steaming black tea and handily rustled through a ceramic bowl of Pakistani Medjool dates

"You would not have believed it, as not believe it do I! Osama and Rushdie were living mere meters apart, never knowing each others true identity. They got along quite well in that dimly lit oil lamp illuminated hell-hole of a home. You might even say they became close friends."

Ahamad described Rushdie as dressed incognito in traditional Arab garb, and Osama clad in Detroit Pistons starter jacket, gold chains and high top sneakers.

"Mr Rushdie was up all night typing, and Osama would often pound with futility on the cave walls to get him to stop...have you ever tried to pound on a cave wall?...Osama even entrusted Rushdie with his plans for blowing up America, and Rushdie would even type them up for him. It was quite a happy time. As time went on, they would often sit for hours at the campfire with each other and some of Osama's many wives, drinking Jaegermeister, playing paper rocks and scissors and wiling the evening hours away indulged in wicked song and dance. It was just plain craziness!"

Ahamad posed thoughtfully, stroking his flowing beard

"I am not quite sure what would happen if they found out each others true identities. They are, after all, strict enemies. But when two enemies live under such stress and deprivation, they sometimes have a way of transcending their theological differences and become true friends. It is indeed quite strange."

Ahamad also related that Rushdie was much more comfortable with Osama than with his former roomate, Unabomber Ted Kaczynski, describing him as "much tidier, and thoughtfull enough to keep his laundry in a separate hamper"isplay:none">Share

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