Einstein's Brain Found At Wisconsin Garage Sale
on 12/15/2004 (3)
GREEN BAY - Dr. Thang Nguyen had come all the way from North Korea looking for something. Dr. Thang Nguyen had found what he was looking for.
|"It's just me and you now, herr Einstein...just me and you!" |
At first glance, the modest, suburban Green Bay garage sale seemed no different than any other in the Midwest. Racks of gaudy nightgowns, dresses worn once and wistfully mothballed aside, cheap velvet canvas starving artist paintings, battle worn ping-pong rackets, several not-almost new Cabbage Patch dolls and Dollar-Tree knick knacks by the seeming boxload.
But there was something else at 1311 Bonnie Lane that boggled all imagination. Something earth-shattering, incredulous and perfectly impossible. Something that Dr. Nguyen wanted very badly.
Unknown to the houses owner, a widower by the name of Edna Bernstein, her late Physicist husband Jeremy had brought something of great importance home from his job at the Alamagardo Laboratory over 50 years ago, and stored it in a jar of formaldehyde on an old wooden work bench in the dim recesses of the family garage.
Somehow, someway, Dr. Nguyen had gotten word of it.
Clutching the brain jar like the last bottle of cold beer on a sweltering Fourth of July, Dr. Nguyen approached Mrs. Bernstein and hastily thrust a 10 dollar bill in her hand
"I will give you 10 dollars! No more! I go now!"
"No so fast, mister! What is that you have anyhow? Let me see that now, or I'll call the police!"
Dr. Nguyen was in no mood to debate. He tucked Einstein's brain under his arm like a Packer tail back and raced for his car, tires squealing in frozen protest against the cold Wisconsin night.
FBI agent John David Stutts described other "brainappings" by North Korean agents nationwide
"We already lost pieces of Robert Oppenheimer's, Enrico Fermi's, Leo Szilard's, Hans Bethe's and Bucky Fuller's brains from research facilities and mourges nationwide...it's become a pandemic. We're not sure why they want them, but our experts surmise they want them to use as a DNA source to breed a race of super intellectuals to aid in their quest for world domination. We are not taking this lightly, and consider the threat very tangible and real."
Once again in North Korea, Dr. Nguyen triumphantly presented his jar of convoluted booty to N.K. Premier Kim Chong-il, who later had them "ground with ginseng root, reindeer antler, Shu Yu root and Fan feng herb for use as an aphrodisiac, and as a treatment for fatiuge, goiters, dropsy, cholera, scurvy and the general ague"0"<
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