Cheapskate C.E.O. Of Smthop.com Reveals Writer Outsourcing Plan
on 1/2/2005 (4)
SMTHOP.COM SITE NEWS - In a move destined to infuriate jobless Americans, smthop.com CEO Kris Steele announces writer outsourcing
|"Thank you for approaching Smooth Operator! How may I please to help you laugh today?!" |
Back at smthop.com HQ, site CEO Kris Steele shuffled a mounting stack of Beluga caviar and Moet champagne bills from Mr. B's Euro Deli Importers and a delinquent Ford Mustang car note from Slim Jimmie's Fordarama like Fats Domino on a poker night Saturday
Smashing a stapler down on his posh mahogany trimmed desk with a springy clang, Steele exploded
"Dammitt! I've had it! I'm not paying these bums another nickle!...or a previous nickle for that matter! Motz, Manboobs, Mel...you're out on your asses! I'm outsourcing my new writing staff to India!"
Steele outlined plans to recruit cheap Indian writers for 1/10 the cost of his State Side bullpen, citing mounting Japanese Geisha-girl massage costs and rising handball court fees as the cause
"I can get 10 Indian writers for the cost of one of my whiney bums, and look at the material! It's pure Gold! I've already got a guy named Sonjay Patel who promises to write 5 stories a day for a buck! HA! try and beat that elephant with a stick! HA!
The new smthop.com format promises radical new subject matter, according to Calcutta based writer Sonjay Patel
"I have some ideas that are just plain craziness! I already have a story in mind about the many arms of Shiva getting entangled with the dumbo ears of Ganesh! It should be most whimsical with many laughs! I look very much forward indeed to working with Mr. Steele and his wonderful Smooth Operator!"
While Steele conceded the new material might not have the same appeal to American readers as the standard site fare, Steele insists
"The American public will develop a third world sense of humor eventually anyway, I tells ya! And guess what? I'm laughing to New Delhi National Bank already! And as far as my regular crew of bums goes, I've got one word...McDonalds! HAHAHA"
None of Steele's former writing staff could be reached, as their phones were 'temporarily disconnected.'h="0"<0" hei
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