Woman Watches Infomercial, Actually Buys Into It
on 1/6/2005 (2)
POUGHKIPSIE, NY - House Frau Myra Stone buys what they're selling
|Set it and regret it! |
Noisely crunching a vita-nutrient brown-syrup rice bar, Myra flipped through late night infomercials like a Vegas handle man through a crap table deck
"Look! This one is aimed straight at my heart! It's unbelievable! How on earth did they know I'm tired, overweight and never feel vibrant with energy? I think I need those time-release Vitapower energy shakes myself! At least I think so! I also need an Ab Cruncher, the Carlton Sheets no-money-down real estate audio tapes, and a Popeil's rotisserie oven! Set it and forget it!"
Unknown to Myra Stone, she is one of millions of divorced, overweight, broke, generally disenfranchised or simply unhappy with life Americans who are the target audience of highly focused, cynical, profiteering Infomercials, specifically written to pry the few remaining dollars out of the already depressed or otherwise weak of character, promising get rich quick schemes, flat abs, droves of vital energy, miraculous "new" home appliances or dizzying spiritual bliss.
Predictably, Infomercials almost never deliver what they are selling. In fact, Infomercials are just privately produced snake-oil TV ads that deliberately attempt to fool naive viewers into believing that since they are on TV, they are credible, and borrow from Television's ubiquitous, "authoritative" air.
If it's on TV, it must be true, right?
Of course not. TV is not a public service, as many might believe. TV is a big money maker, first and foremost.
Infomercials are merely a creative production gambit to utilize late night "dead" airtime slots that Hollywood has no interest in investing in, and ruthlessley target the highly suggestible, weaker willed and minded individuals who have the most to lose and the least to gain. The fact that many of these lost, forlorn souls are insomniacs -up all night with worries- is all the better.
Myra's interest had peaked. She grabbed her credit card and hit the phone
"I'll take two bottles of the Vegeriffic Power Vitathin pills, and a Gut Buster Plus! Overnight it! And throw in the FREE Pesto-Pasta maker and Crusty Custard machine while your at it!
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