Jaded House Frau Goes To Strip Club, Turns Into Mad Woman
on 1/18/2005 (2)
SERENITY, IL - Coyly overlooking a sloshed Kathy Granno, the barkeep slid another three bottles of frosty Budweiser down the opposite end of the bar like a Wayne Gretzky Stanley Cup hat trick
|"I-want-another-DRINK!! WooOOoooOOOooOOOOoo!!" |
Her arm slung around a male stripper like a Texas calf wrastler, Granno ranted like Courtney Love on a bad court Monday.
"G-Give me another drink you jerk!! And get one for my sweety Darius here...I'll tell YOU when I'm drunk...stop ignoring me!! I-I hate you! I fucking HATE you!" Idly swabbing a brandy glass, The barkeep shook his head and smiled softly. He had seen it all, many, many times before.
"And put on some rap music! My limp-dick husband won't let me listen to rap music! He listens to classic rock and I HATE classic rock!! I wanna hear some fucking rap music NOW!!"
Such a scene is all too common across the drab cornfields and gently rolling glacial valleys of the American Midwest. Tired of the same ol' same ol', sexually jaded, normally reserved highly dedicated family moms are turned into explosive ticking sexual time bombs, desperately seeking instant chemical and emotional release from a droning, mind numbing daily grind of loaded diapers, PTA meetings, morning talk shows and stinky feet.
Like a cancer, there is no cure
Only a brief, mad drowning orgy of beer, broken bra straps and wet French kisses before they discretely return home again, only to be repeated once again 6 months later...like a terrible ticking clock...a swirling maelstrom of pent up emotion and virtually insane sexual frustration.
The bartender motioned to a bouncer to escort Granno to the door, indulging in a moment of professional reflection.
"No biggie. I see it a hundred times a night. I've known Kathy for years. How do you think she got pregnant in the first place? Between me and you and the barstool, I wouldn't doubt if her husband is doing the same slide on the side."
Indeed, across town, Kathy's husband Sal, his arm slung around a Crazy Horse stripper like a Texas calf wrastler...and so on.
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