Drunken Dog Goes On Neighborhood Rampage
on 2/7/2005 (11)
Cathy Quinn put a cold towelette on Buster Chopps' muzzle, Buster responding thankfully with a muffeled "arooOOooo"
"You got in all kinds of perfectly good trouble, didn't ya' boy?! What did ya' expect, drinking a whole bottle of good Irish Whisky in one sitting, and then tearing up the neighborhood like that? You're in the proverbial doghouse for a good while, I should say you are!"
Quinn's dog, Buster Chopps, managed to chew the lock open on the family liquor cabinet and lapped a bottle of Irish malt whisky like a cat on a cream bowl.
"Ya' made a perfect mess of things! Poor missus O'Rourke! She was on her knees diggin' her tulips, and ya' snuck up from behind and ripped her unmentionables right up from under her! And then ya' chewed the tire off Mr. Hoolihan's bicycle, and stole a whole wheel of Donegal cheese from Mr. Gallagher's cellar. What do ya'have to say for yerself?!"
Buster let out a few agonized wuffs and aroos, sipped a bit of water and flopped on his belly like a beached flounder
"And missus Fitzpatrick swore she'd sue us if her prize poodle gives birth to a bunch of mutts with yer' ugly mug on 'em! Yer' a regular Ned Kelly, ya' are!"
Buster mustered a few half-hearted aroos, burped and broke wind
"We'll I'll overlook this mess this time, but dontcha' let it happen again, mark my words, Buster Chopps, mark my words!"
Quinn resolved never to keep alcoholic spirits in her house again, although Buster reportedly had already buried a bottle behind the hen house in the back yard for safekeeping.<
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