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Death By Blog
by Mark on 2/12/2005 (5)

Blogs: The new pink slip?
LA GRUNGE, IL - "Quickyrates" Insurance develops new online firing tool


Quickyrates Insurance Branch Manager Tommy Schmales called telephone customer service rep Don Levitts on the carpet, the last carpet Levitts would be called upon for a long, long time...

"Levitts! Get your extra pair of shoes, your magazines, the pictures on your cubicle wall and your half empty box of Cheezits and get in here! Prontomundo!"

Schmales kicked his feet on his desk and grinned like Clint Eastwood in the Sergio Leone spaghetti western "Hang Em' High".

"Levitts, it seems our IT guy found some derogatory remarks you made on your web Blog about the fine folks here at Quickyrates in general, and me in specific. Says here that you said that not only do I have dandruff, but that my wife, kids and cat have dandruff too! Put your in ass in your front pocket and get the hell outta here! you're FIRED!!"

Indeed, Levitts is merely part of a growing trend.

Worldwide, so called "Bloggers" are getting shit-canned for posting even non specific, vague references about their employers online. From waiters venting their daily experiences with obnoxious customers to journalists complaining about low pay and silly awards and accolades, Blogs have become a viable termination tool, much like failing to use a turn signal is a tool for police officers to justify a traffic stop on a DUI suspect.

After a few Bombay Sapphires and lime, Tommy Schmales loosened up and explained

"The fact is, Levitts was a slovenly jerk. We just wanted to get rid of the guy. We already have about 25 'zero-tolerance' policies in place that make termination as easy as pissing, like being late or leaving early by as little as one minute, not meeting sales quotas, disruptive behavior, dress code, etc., and now Blogs are in the mix too. All I did was Google his name and his Blog popped up. Truth be known, web Blogs are just another convenient, legally clean tool for dismissing problem employees. Amazing how powerful Google search is, and how dumb Bloggers are to that fact. Go figure."

Google has not reportedly considered adding an "Employer Blog Search" feature to their search engine site to date.


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Comments

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