Super Nanny Dispatched to North Korea
Brussels – Long regarded as the petulant child of the eastern hemisphere, North Korea can now expect a visit from the world’s foremost expert on correcting adolescent behavior.
|Bad dictator... go sit on the naughty step and think about what you've done! |
Last Monday, the United Nations contracted Jo Frost, otherwise known as Super Nanny, to work her brand of magic on the stubborn North Korean government.
“We said to ourselves, ‘no country can reach them. Not the US, not Russia, not even their own ally China has been able to get them to agree to sensible rules and regulations on nuclear arms.’ Finally we resorted to calling Jo, we all love her work so much on (Super Nanny). How she gets those kids to sit on the naughty step I will never figure out,” said UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan.
Her simple methods stress consistency, communication and reasonable consequences for poor behavior, all delivered with loving firmness. She emphasizes the importance of spelling out her new rules of the household to children and totalitarians alike. In addition, Jo sets out the consequences for infractions. One standard punishment in the program is a short time out period on the "Naughty Step" or, for older children, in the "Naughty Room". Frost noted that because of his size and special health complications, Jong-Il would be using the step.
Super Nanny Frost said she was eager to get the problems sorted out in Pyongyang. “The first thing I like to do in any situation where behavioral problems exist is to observe a day in the life of the subject. In this case it was apparent that the North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il was completely unchecked. If he was petulant or naughty his handlers made every effort not to discipline him, and in my book that is just sending the wrong message.”
Frost recalled an incident from earlier in the week where she observed Kim Jong-Il bully several of his underlings.
“I couldn’t believe he was allowed to speak that way to those people,” said the Super Nanny. “He became so mad that he started throwing a literal temper tantrum, snot bubbles and all. It was quite awful.”
Right away Frost put her time-tested plans into action. “After I observe and make notes for the day I like to make a list of ‘do’s’ and ‘don’t’, sort of a set of guidelines for expectations.” Jong-Il spent little time breaking the first set of rules. “Right off I saw ‘the little dictator’ as I’ve nicknamed him giving death sentences to several dissidents that the DPRK had detained. I quickly put an end to that.”
“The first step in correcting a child, or miniature ruler’s behavior, is to get down to their level. Kim Jong is only slightly over a meter tall, so that is difficult, but I took him firmly by the hand and told him that ‘we don’t put people to death’ and that this type of behavior would not be tolerated.” Frost prescribed an immediate banishment to the naughty step.
“One minute for every year of age I says.” When the hour and seven minute session was up, Frost again got on her knees to speak with Jong-Il. “I asked him if he knew why he’d been placed on the naughty step, and he said ‘yes’. I asked him if he was sorry. He hesitated, so I a
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