Smthop.com Purchased by Windmill Retailer
on 4/2/2005 (0)
In 1842, a young Mrs. Frampington married an equally young Mr. Frampington. Due to Mr. Frampington's erectile dysfunction and paralyzing fear of touching a woman (most historians feel he was homosexual), the happy couple never fathered any children. But they did sell a lot of windmills out of the back of their 1974 Chevy Cargo Van, which had been given to them as a wedding give from their time traveling Uncle Manute Bol.
In 1892 Mr. Frampington was killed by an escaped robot from the nearby Acme Evil Robot Factory. Rather than avenge his death, Mrs. Frampington decided to sell even more windmills, the only thing left in her life that brought her any joy.
Over 300 years later, Mrs. Frampington is the premier seller and reselling of Windmills online. Her commitment to excellence in the field of wind and mills has been unparalleled and led her to be voted the 2004 Windmill Retailer of the year.
In March of 2005, Mrs. Frampington purchased the domain name www.smthop.com from the popular Internet satire site Smooth Operator for seven American dollars (15 cents Canadian). Soon this domain will be home to an entire selection of quality windmills, which can be purchased and delivered to your home within 5 business days!
| || Scary Ass Huge Windmills |
Widely regarded as the most deadly of all windmills, these units provide enough energy daily to level 8 city blocks. Teddy Roosevelt once described them as "the most horrible creation mankind has ever made" and Ted Kennedy said they "smelled of cheap whores". For only $18, you can have one of these units in your own backyard! You can't even buy sex for that kind of cash!
| || Haunted Windmills |
Home to the vengeful spirits of many long since dead, these lovely windmills offer the latest in classic styling with just a hint of scary ghosts. While she has been tried on multiple occasions, Mrs. Frampington has never been convicted of murdering any of the fifteen different bodies located in the basements of these windmills. Great for crushing grains or scaring children and adults alike. Order now, supplies are limited!
Mrs. Frampington says: "You'll love this windmill so much that you'll forget that my dead husband's spirit is trying to kill you!"
| || Farm Windmills |
Great for making that missile silo or cocaine fields appear to be a legitimate farming environment. Columbian drug lords have been using these for years with high rates of success. It it even rumored that Saddam Hussein himself purchased numerous farm windmills, which successfully hid weapons of mass destruction from UN inspectors for years. In fact, during the recent Iraq invasion, Saddam himself dressed as a scarecrow and hid from US forces near one of these for over two weeks!
Due to their high lead content, these windmills are also ideal candidates to be melted down to create children's toys. Remember, children love lead!