One Minute Of Truth With A Liberal
on 4/16/2005 (5)
In a rare, candid, unplugged interview with famed liberal activist C.Norman Krappwell, Krappwell has agreed to tell the truth to any questions asked to him for exactly one minute.
Smooth Op: "Good morning Mr. Krappwell. As per our arrangement, you have agreed to tell the truth to any questions asked to you for one minute. Are you good to go?"
Krappwell: "Let's go, shoot."
Smooth Op: "Rumor has it that most liberals are against a victory in Iraq. Is this true?"
Krappwell: "Oh, absolutely. Not only a victory, but anything that even resembles a stable peace of any kind. We want failure. Death. A long drawn out insurgency, coupled with civil war that not only destroys Iraq, but destabilizes the entire Middle East and fuels terrorist organizations for years to come."
Smooth Op: "That's seems insane. Why?"
Krappwell: "Oh, well, of course it is. Why? To get even with Bush and conservative America for stealing 2 elections from the people. A victory or stable peace in Iraq is not on our agenda, as it makes Bush look good. We could care less how many G.I.'s die, or how many Iraqi people. The more the better in fact. Our agenda is to defame Bush and for what he stands for, period."
Smooth Op: "What does Bush stand for, anyway?"
Krappwell: "The domination of American politics by rich Christian white males and their cronies since 1776. The system is corrupt and must be redesigned to fit a changing, multi-cultural world. We are a progressive, all inclusive party. After all, many of us went to Berkeley, including yours truly."
Smooth Op: "But Mr. Krappwell, aren't you white?"
Krappwell: "Uh, next question..."
Smooth Op: "What would you like to see happen to the U.S. economy under Bush?"
Krappwell: "I want it to fail, of course. Big time. 1929 Black Tuesday caliber failure."
Smooth Op: "Do you think there will be more attacks like 9-11?
Krappwell: "Do I think so? No. Do I want another 9-11? Of course. Again, anything that makes Bush looks bad. Human lives mean nothing to us. A Bush failure in all arenas is what we want. Whether it's through economic failure, terrorism, or failed intervention overseas is merely a matter of semantics. We want gas to go to 5 dollars a gallon. We want American school children to test the lowest in the developed world. We want unemployment at record highs, all for the purpose of..."
Smooth Op: "Getting even with Bush?"
Krappwell: "Right. Getting even with Bush."
Smooth Op: "If Al Gore were elected, and he invaded Iraq, would you have supported the war then?"
Krappwell: "Well, of course. Gore is a Democrat, and he would have been supportive of our real agenda, which is at home and not abroad, truthfully, yes, we would have supported a Gore war, yes, WMD's or not."
Smooth Op: "Wow. Tough stuff. Our minute is almost up. Tell me this: Isn't your attitude toward conservatives and using human lives as pawns to benefit your power struggle, uh, unconscionable? How do you sleep nights?"
Krappwell: (laughs) "I sleep fine...Look, how would you feel if you had the momentum of two consecutive liberal terms under Clinton snatched away from you? Imagine that you were the CEO of Chrysler one day, and found yourself sweeping the warehouse the next? You'd be pissed off, of course. We're pissed. We lost absolute power. The power to force people into taking strong medicine, and even eating shit, to see things our way. Damn right you'd be pissed, and vengeful, too. We know we're crazy, but so what? The end justifies the means, even if we're not really sure we embrace our own beliefs anyway, but this is about raw, brute power and control. That's what we're really all about. That's it."
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