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Fusilli Named Top Pasta In 2004
by Mark on 5/26/2005 (0)

Shapes, shapes, everywhere, but not a bite to eat.
(AP) The National Macaroni Institute has determined that fusilli pasta was the number one shape in 2004, followed closely by choo-choo wheels.

Alfonse Fratelli, New York City N.M.I. president, observed

"We've seen a trend toward funny, whimsical pasta shapes recently, coupled with an explosion of ultra-flavorful quattro-formaggio cheese and green olive portabello garlic sauces. Good ol' straight number 6 angel hair, the top seller since 1940, is a distant 5 today, narrowly edging out vermicelli and fettuccini . We think the trend will continue throughout the new millennia with even new shapes on the horizon, including hexagons, biscuit weaves and even super cheesy flavored ravioli action figure shapes. I think the public is demanding more out of pasta these days, and the statistics seem to support it."

In a related survey, cheddar cheese flavored crackers topped the crunchable list, edging out basic saltines for the first time since 1955, and basic white bread has fallen from favor for the first time since it's inception in 1930, surpassed by whole wheat for the past 2 years in a row.

"The entire trend smacks of excitement."

Adds PepsiCo CEO Brodski Lafarge

"We've added lime, wild cherry, vanilla, and berry flavored Pepsi to the market as of late with great consumer response. It seems that consumers want more than the basic old cola flavor, untouched and virtually unrivaled for over 100 years. We're currently examining specialized flavors for overseas markets, including chutney cola for India, and squid ink for the Asian theatre. It is a very creative, imaginative process, and the message is clear: consumers are bored with the same old flavors."

Consumer marketing analysts are only mildly surprised at the explosive popularity of flavored foods and drinks, citing "an artistically jaded public, due to the ever more sophsiticated and tightly focused 'hot media' readily available on the Internet" as cause, but added they were "almost certain" that basic white toilet paper would probably remain the most popular for decades to come."0" styl0" style


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