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Lost Man Stops and Asks for Directions
by Kris on 6/7/2005 (0)

"For the last time, we're not lost, we're just taking the scenic route!"
New Jersey man Mark Felt recently has done something that millions of men before him never had to do, or at least were never willing to do. He admitted he was lost and stopped to ask for directions.

"I've never been in this area before," said 26 year old Felt, who was traveling to see the world's biggest fish sandwich in Perrot, South Carolina with his new girlfriend. "I had a map, but I wasn't sure where we were on it."

Felt stopped at the Davistown, South Carolina Gasoline Hut station to ask for the now infamous directions after his girlfriend pleaded with him to do so.

"I am a woman, it's my job to nag him and beg him to stop and ask," said Betty Jones, the girlfriend in question. "I never expected that he actually would."

Rafael Parkton, the clerk working at the Gasoline Hut, was equally surprised.

"I saw a man walking in with a map and it scared me to death," admitted Parkton. "I thought for sure he was hiding a gun under there and was aiming to rob the place or worse. I had my hand on the security alarm the entire time we spoke."

Fortunately all Mark wanted was a little guidance and a Ho-Ho. "All those direction made me hungry" he later claimed.

It seems that Mark had taken a wrong turn (another first for a man) at the Kennedy Crossroads and had ended nearly six miles away in neighboring Davistown. Using the directions from Parkton he was able to find his way to the world famous Perrot Fish Sandwich is just under fifteen minutes.

"I was way off from where I thought I was," said Mark. "Thankfully I asked for directions, otherwise I probably would have ended up in Thomas Station, Georgia. Then I would never have gotten to see the most amazing fish sandwich ever known to man or fish."

News of Mark's request for directions has angered numerous men's groups nationwide, including the highly influential National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood (No Ma'am), who have devoted large amounts of time and energy to egging Mark's house.

"By listening to a woman and asking for directions, Mark is drawing into question the long held belief that a man knows everything," said Tom Hellas, President of the South Carolina chapter of No Ma'am. "Should this sort of behavior spread, it could threaten all man's rights to drink beer with dinner, lay around watching football on Sundays, and yell 'Hey hot stuff!' when we see a cute girl in a tight shirt."

"I would encourage men everywhere to ask for directions, it really helped me out of a jam," reflected Mark days later. "But then again, I also routinely wear woman's panties, so I'm probably not the best source for manly advice."

No other cases of men asking for directions have been reported since this incident. It is unknown if this is because such an event has yet to occur or if groups such as No Ma'am have silenced these girly men.

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