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Workplace Stairwell Nicknamed Gasoline Alley
by Mark on 6/10/2005 (0)

"I'm g-getting dizzy! Auggh!.
BURPEE, IL - "Do not go in there!"

barked Quickyrates Insurance general manager Tommy Schmales

"Man this is outta control. Ever since we acquired the Penske Fund accounts and expanded our call center, we don't have enough bathrooms to go around. This building was built for 50 people, not 150! I can't take it anymore!"

It seems the burgeoning Quickyrates phone room staff, unable to equitably share the single second floor bathroom, were siphoning off to the extra stall in the basement, freely ventilating their backsides on the trip down the stairs.

"Mauuugh! This place is like a goddamn stable! And if it's not bad enough, at lunch the 2 microwaves in the adjacent second floor kitchen are working overtime, too! It's smells like a cheap Chinese restaurant in there! Blah!"

Things would probably only get worse for the folks at Quickyrates, as the additional Armenhammer Finance account was on the horizon, promising to add another 50 bodies complete with stinky feet and sweaty pits to the already suffocating phone room.

Schmales scratched his nose fitfully

"Ever have a mixture of Lean Cuisine turkey and fettuccini primavera in one nostril, and human flatulence in the other? Man it's the worst. I'm not sure where this is going, and I sure as hell appreciate the extra business, but Christ, we need a bigger building!"

Marvin Finklestein, the owner of the Quickyrates Insurance Corp, however, only immediately promised a "case of Glade air freshener, a few bottles of Beano and a ban on cigarettes, matches and lighters."isplay:no0" style="display:no


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