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Where Are They Now?
by Kris on 6/30/2005 (0) 
 | | It's a man, man! | | Mavis Beacon
Beginning in the late 1980's and spanning thru 1990's, Mavis Beacon developed a popular series of computer programs designed to teach people how to type. "If you want to know how to type, you go to Mavis," said 1995 World Typing Champion Sean McDougal. Forbes magazine rated her as one of the fifty richest women in 1994 due to the huge sales of her software, titled 'Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing'. She was often seen at Hollywood movie premiers and many glamour star-studded parties. She even had a weekly syndicated radio show where she talked about typing, love, and her crippling fear of robots.
But when the dot com bubble burst, so did the good fortunes for Mavis. Software sales plummeted as consumers became weary of anything computer related. Soon 'Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing' was eclipsed as the number one selling learn-to-type software by competitor 'Harry Carry Teaches Typing'. Three years later, 'Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing' had fallen to the 93rd most popular in this list.
"Mavis had grown accustomed to a very high brow lifestyle and when sales of her software dropped, she could no longer afford such a lifestyle," said 1990's historian Greg DeGette.
Mansions, expensive cars, and summer homes were repossessed from Mavis. Her whole world was crumbling around her, but it was only going to get worse.
In 2002, while the IRS was investigating Mavis for tax fraud, they made a startling discovery.
"Mavis Beacon has been dead for over thirty years," said lead IRS investigator Steve Walsh. "This person posing as Mavis Beacon is actually Afghanistan national Fred Smith, who had a sex change years ago and assumed the identity of the deceased Mavis Beacon."
"This explains so much," said Mavis's longtime boyfriend Jimmy Tucker when he heard the news.
Further investigations by the INS revealed Smith was also an illegal resident of the United States. Although he fought the ruling, Fred Smith was soon deported back to his native land.
Since returning to Afghanistan, it is rumored that Smith joined Al-Qaeda and has developed a learn-to-type software application that is widely used in terrorist training. Smith and Osama Bin Laden are said to be very close.
 | | With hip cast members like these, it's a wonder this show isn't still on the air. | | The Cast of That '80s Show
That '70s Show had become a huge hit for the Fox Network and executives attempted to further cash in with the 2002 spin-off That '80s Show. Unfortunately the show, centering around of group of 20 something youth growing up in the mid 1980's, was never popular with audiences and was canceled after just one season.
Cast members, who had grown accustomed to their 1980's lifestyles, found it difficult to return to normal society. Many developed cocaine addictions and '80s Show main star Glenn Howerton was linked to numerous rumors about eating babies.
"The downfall of the cast of the '80s Show was a huge black eye for Fox and executives just wanted them to go away," said historian Greg DeGette.
In 2004, Fox executives created a time machine and sent the enti
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