Bush Playing Jumanji With Al-Qaeda
on 7/5/2005 (5)
"W-What in hell happened? Where am I? One minute I was shootin' beers and doin' boilermakers with the Cheney's, and next thing I know I'm down in some dank Whitehouse cellar. W-What in hootin' hell is this rusted old box? L-Lemme have a looksee."
|"In the desert you must wait, until the dice roll 5 or 8." |
Dubya dusted cobwebs from the rusty, ancient box and removed an odd looking game board from within.
"Ja-manji...Joo-manji...Jumanji...what the hell is a Jumanji? Lemme get a closer look...
Dubya opened the game and the game pieces mysteriously slid onto place on the board, and a pair of dice tumbled magically down.
"W-Whoa...never seen that before, at least not since college. Let me roll the dice and see what, uh, happens."
The dice rolled a 6, and the piece slid magically 6 spaces forward, landing on a square that read:
"In a flash they come from the sky, 4 in all, how many will die?"
"What the hell does that mean? Lemme check my watch. It's September 10, 2001. I gotta get up early and address those school kids tomorrow. I'll get back to this nonsense later."
Indeed, Bush would be back to the Jumanji board in the White House cellar many, many times. Subsequent rolls of the dice would yield "In the desert you must wait, until the dice roll 5 or 8." and "At first glance they look like friends, at second glance your life will end." and so on.
When Bush finally figured out he was hopelessly locked in a steel gripped round of Jumanji until a conclusion was drawn, he stepped up his secret forays in a futile attempt to hasten the end of the game, always garnering more heinous and violent results
"I-I can get out of this, I know it...and in any case, I'm leavin' in 2008 anyway, and the new guy can take over. Christ, I'm stayin' away from speedball and wapitui watermelon from now on, that's for damn sure!"
It was unclear when or how Bush's unintentional foray into Jumanji would end, as historical records indicated the last time the game was played was by Nixon in 1974.go./tds/go.php?si
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