Real (Stupid) Car Accidents
on 7/13/2005 (7)
| || The space clearly was labeled "compact", but that wasn't going to stop Jessica Hatcher (estimated IQ of 7) from parking her four door vehicle there. For most normal people, this would lead to some scraped paint or maybe a dented door. Jessica somehow was able to not only flip one of the parked cars on it's side, but to also park on top of it. |
"In all my years on the force, I've never seen anyone do that," said baffled traffic cop Steven Diggs.
"I think the clutch slipped, then I missed a gear," said Jessica of her parking job. "I may have had some bad gas too."
It is unclear if the bad gas was in her car or due to the chili cheese fries she had just eaten.
| || Tired after a long day of work, office supplies manager Mike Walter decided to take a nap and let his dog Scrappy drive him home, something he had done hundreds of times before with no problem. |
Scrappy proceeded to run six consecutive red lights then lead police on a three state high speed pursuit before his tires were shot out and the car flipped end over end then plunged into a river. Owner and dog surprisingly walked away with only minor cuts and bruises.
Scrappy was fined $500 for his various traffic violations and had his license suspended for 6 months. Mike quit his job and began dating a super model. He was dumped two weeks later.
| || Running late on his way to the lake, Brad Shepard decided to take a short cut. Unfortunately he neglected the fact that the shortcut would take him down the side of a cliff, and that he was towing a boat. |
While he was towed back onto the mountain after dangling over the edge for three hours, he was still optimistic of his shortcut.
"If I had gotten a little more speed, I would have made it," he told police officers on the scene.
Two weeks later Brad Shepard died after driving his truck and boat 75 mph off the very same cliff. His shortcut did work though, cutting nearly ten minutes off the time it would have taken him to reach the lake.
| || Steve Nelson was always fearful of having his car robbed during the night so he had a garage door installed in the front of his apartment. But one day, when coming home early from work on a rainy day, he entered the apartment only to be faced with his roommate who was going to the fridge for a slice of cold pizza. |
"First I screamed like a little girl, then I shit myself," said Steve's horrified roommate.
Steve swerved to miss his roommate, or swerved to hit his girlfriend's cat, and put the car through the kitchen wall.
While no one was injured in the accident, Steve and his roommate were promptly evicted.
"No cats allowed," stated an angry landlord.