Wisconsin Divorced Men's Club Organizes First Ever Cat-Olympics
on 7/18/2005 (8)
OSHKOSH, WI - The Oshkosh divorced men's rod, reel and gun club, recently squelched from passing a legal feral tabby hunting law in the state of Wisconsin, have shifted their misplaced passions and mad obsessions into the states, and the indeed the worlds, first Cat Olympics.
|Male tabby "Sparky" shows his stuff on the trebuchet competition, giving new meaning to the word "catapult." |
Divorced dad Elvis Weems elaborates :
"Well, they wouldn't let us hunt cats like we wanted, so we did the next best thing. We have over a dozen events planned this August in Oshkosh, including the tabby-hammer toss, cat fishing, cat-put, cat-a-pult and kitty-discus, to name a few! Should be exciting. We can get our rocks off in spite of the fact we can't hunt cats, so this is the next best thing!"
When prodded with the possibility that the divorced men’s sporting clubs vitriolic disdain of cats was merely a projection of their simmering hatred for their ex-wives onto the hapless felines, Weems fessed up
"He-he, you got that right. We like dogs. Dogs are sociable, sensitive and need the affections and approval of others to survive. Not cats! Damn things are detached, cold, impersonal and way too independent! Just like someone I used to know!"
No word is out how medals will be rewarded to the victorious contestants, but Weems promised "something in the size 12 EEE gilded chukka-boot category."
|Red Green goes trollin' for tabby in the catfishing competition at nearby Wauhawkeechola lake. Green quips: "You can't catch catfish, or a cat for that matter, without the right bait!" || |
|Billy Ray Cider exhibits rare form in the cat-put toss, sending "Fluffer Bunny" over 15 meters! |
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