Boy Dumped After Losing to Girlfriend at Mini-Golf
on 7/24/2005 (37)
High school love can often be fleeting. Young Billy Jackson learned just that lesson after a fun evening get-together turned into teary eyes and a broken heart.
|And to think, a game as pure and beautiful as mini-golf can lead to such pain and suffering. |
15 year old Billy had been dating 14 year old Jessica Marshal for nearly six months. The two got together when a mutual friend asked if they liked each other and they both giggled.
"It was just like something out of the movies," once said Jessica of the beginning of their relationship, though what movie she was speaking about we were unable to determine. We do suspect it was not the recent America Godzilla movie staring Mathew Broderick, which we can all agree to be terrible. "That was a very bad movie," Jessica later agreed.
Billy and Jessica's relationship had even progressed so well that Billy was planning on buying her a red rose and taking her out for dinner to a fancy Mexican restaurant for their six month anniversary.
"It was going to be beautiful," claimed Billy. "The burritos at Los Mexicano Resteraunte are absolutely delicious."
Billy even reluctantly mentioned his hopes to reach second base with Jessica that night. "I would love to touch her boobies," he said.
But all the hopes and dreams of prom dances, anniversary gifts, and hanky-panky in the backseat of his father's Volkswagen came crashing down when Billy acted less than suave at a mini-golf course, then blew a big midcourse lead and lost to his girlfriend.
"This kid was confident that he was going to win and he wasn't afraid to rub it in his girl's face while doing it," said Putt-Putt Mania employee Ted Snider. "From an experienced 18 year old that has dated three women, you'll never win their heart by hitting a hole-in-one and them berating them because it took them three shots to get it in. I have also learned that if you order a mail-order-bride and it happens to be a guy, you aren't obligated by law to marry him. Unfortunately, I learned that lesson much too late."
After nine holes, Billy was sitting on a comfortable eight stroke lead and feeling very good about his chances to win.
"I was feeling very good about my chances to win," said Billy. "I even said to her, 'I feel very good about my chances to win'".
"Billy was being a total ass," said Jessica. "He was being so mean to me, his competitive nature turned him into a huge jerk, just like that Dustin Diamond guy. I almost went home, but then I figured it would be more satisfying to beat him."
With the eye of the Tiger in her heart and Diet Coke running through her veins, Jessica proceeded to go on a tear through the back nine that Putt-Putt employees will be talking about for years to come.
"I've never seen such shear mastery of a mini-golf course in my entire life," said Snider. "She was like a young Michelle Wie out there."
After multiple hole-in-ones and great overall play by Jessica, Billy still held a one shot lead coming into the final hole. Billy went first and despite hitting one of the Golf Gnomes, he left himself in position for a two shot finish.
"I just closed my eyes and remember what my father used to tell me," said Jessica. "He
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