Things That Make You Go Arrrgh!!! part 2
on 9/22/2005 (0)
I'm not sure where the term "Arrrgh" originates from, but I first saw it in a Fantastic Four comic book in the 70's. If I remember correctly, the Incredible Hulk slam hammered good ol' Benjamin "pile o' bricks" Grimm over the head with an iron street lamp, and Grimm let out a reverberating "Arrrgh!!!" that spread clear across two fold out pages. Here are some other things that make you go Arrrgh, Smooth Operator style!
|Cranial nail: BIG Arrrgh!!! |
Nail gun accident statistics: According to a focused OSHA study, "fifty four apprentices (33%) reported a work related nail gun injury; 35 occurring in the last year. Nineteen individuals (11.5%) had experienced more than one injury. The patterns they reported were similar to those collected through the active surveillance. The apprentice was using the gun at the time of injury in 84% of the cases." And these figures are in residential carpentry alone; over 534 cases were reported overall last year in the U.S., including several of the dreaded "cranial nail" type. BIG Arrrgh!
Soccer injuries, fashionable boxer shorts and infertility? According to Phillip L. Blansett, Ph.D. "For boys and men, according to our nation's Urologists, the vast majority of sterility and infertility problems in men can be directly traced to testicular bruising in adolescence which could have been prevented, if, when boys play aggressive competitive sports such as soccer, they are required to wear jockey-style knit briefs or athletic supporter underpants instead of fashionable boxers." Try offering that advice to those trendy Europeans. Youch!
Debit card overdraft fees: Debit cards are all the rage nowadays, especially in the age of e-trade and online billing, but beware of the overdraft fee. Keep in mind that when you swipe a debit card, it's just like writing a check. If you have 100 dollars in your account, and make a purchase of, say, 101 dollars, the transaction will be "approved" -that is, the payment will be transfered- but that extra dollar will cost you a hefty overdraft fee, usually 33 dollars.
Another useful factoid is that it may take several weeks for a transaction to hit your account. You might make a gasoline purchase at a corner BP, and it may not be deducted from your account for days, or even weeks, later. A good habit to develop with debit cards is to record each and every transaction in a checkbook log so you don't get hammered later. Today's free tip: Most banks are willing to waive the first 2 overdraft fees and will usually negotiate if you have some crazy number of them, say 5 or 6, and may cut them in half, so if you do overdraft, go to your local bank branch (do not call the customer service number on the card! They will usually say no.) and act innocent and stupid and plead the fifth to the manager. They are usually Arrrgh!!! sensitive and will work with you.
Zit eruptions: Ever find yourself getting ready for that big first date, and guess who's coming to dinner? You guessed right! Acne happens when the oil glands are stimulated by hormones that are produced in the adrenal glands of both males and females. Bacteria live in everyone’s skin, but generally mind their own business. In acne, however, they feast on this oil, multiply, and cause the surrounding tissues to become inflamed. Since acne is usually associated with youth, just brush it off that way. You might have zits Jimmy, but hey, at least you're young!
Stinky breath: As far as I'm concerned, there are only two things that<
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