Dizzy Maury Show Guest Finally Wakes Up And Realizes She Was A Guest On The Maury Show
on 9/23/2005 (0)
BANDERSNATCH, CA - Tearful former Maury show guest Alyssa Valore finally "woke up" and came to the formally unprecedented epiphany that she was played by producers of the Maury show for sensational effect, and not her emotional needs.
|"You are NOT the brightest!" |
Alyssa clutched a handkerchief and sobbed pitifully
"S-Sob!...That son-of-a-bitch Maury played me to get ratings! He doesn't care about me! I was used...*sob*"
Indeed, Alyssa's awakening would seem to be a first. Through outside observation, or perhaps a distant, dimly lit spark from within, Maury guests are finally reaching the nauseatingly obvious conclusion that they are hand picked by Maury show producers for shock affect, and not to assuage their emotional distress or financial needs.
"H-He played me because I'm white and my boyfriend is black, and I don't know who the father of my interracial child is! *Sob*...He handpicked me because he knows interracial relationships infuriate white people and get big ratings! Filthy bastard!"
Maury producers shrugged off Alyssa's belated Rennaisance, quipping "We'll get phone calls from 10 more dizzy bitches with no self-esteem just like her tonight. In any case what do expect? After all, Maury studio audience tickets are free anyway, and we've got to pay the bills somehow!""0"<
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