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Things That Make You Go OMG!!
by Mark on 9/26/2005 (1)

Cerne Abbas Giant: Neolithic pornography?
In case you didn't know what "OMG" means, it is an excited abbreviated expression, "Oh My God!", that is en vogue on the Internet, usually with strong, wide-eyed sexual connotation, as in "OMG! Nice boobies!" and such. Here are some other OMG! goodies, Smooth Operator style!

Cerne Abbas Chalk Giant: The Cerne Abbas Giant or the 'Rude Man' is the largest hillfigure in Britain, he (the figure's gender is beyond doubt) is one of two representations of the human form, the other being the Long Man of Wilmington in East Sussex. The giant, carved in solid lines from the chalk bedrock measures in at 180 feet high, and carries a huge knobbled club, which measures 120 feet in length.

Tradition tells of barren women in Medieval Times instructed to have sexual intercourse on the full moon inside of the giant chalk phallus to ensure successful conception. I'm not sure if it worked, but I'm quite sure the Cern Giant produced many happy tales to tell in that generally wretched period of human history.

Largest medically verified penis: The largest erect member in medical literature would be the 14-inch organ mentioned by Dr. David Reuben in his book Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (1969). Reuben didn't divulge any source for this figure, and there was no independent verification, so you may question his accuracy. The largest medically verified penis on record is 13.5 inches long and 6.25 inches around, documented in the early twentieth century by Dr. Robert L. Dickinson. Other sources (Alfred Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, etc.) mention specimens ranging from 9.5 to 12 inches.

The largest penis in the animal kingdom is that of the the cetaceans, which include dolphins and whales. In large Rorqual whales the penis can be 10 ft. long with a diameter of up to 1 ft. The whale penis, at its base, consists of two arms attached to the pelvic bones, the arms fuse into the rope-like organ. Humbling, indeed.

Largest medically verified vagina: Most likely belonged to Scottish giantess Anna Swan (1846-1888), a remarkable woman who set a number of records relating to her bulk. On June 18, 1879, she gave birth to the largest baby in history, weighing 26 lbs. and 34 inches in length, so large, in fact, that it became tightly wedged in her capacious tract, only extricated by the use of forceps and belts.

The largest vagina in the animal kingdom is unquestionably that of the whale. This need hardly surprise us as the female whale has to accommodate the largest animal penis. The vulva is a long elliptical groove which lies immediately cranial to the anus. The longest whale vagina is in the order of 6 to 8 ft. in length, capable of further elongation if necessary upon penile insertion.

Largest penis by race: The average white male has a penis measuring 6.2 inches long and 3.7 inches around, whereas the average black male has a penis 6.3 by 3.8 inches, for a difference of 0.1 inches--not what you'd call statistically significant. When it came to flaccid length, however, blacks fared a little better: 4.3 inches long, versus 4.0 inches for white males. So it may be, therefore, that while those of African heritage appear larger initially, under actual working conditions things tend to even out. *phew*

Largest medically verfied breasts: "The Sexual Anatomy of Woman" by W. F. Benedict tells the cases of one 14-year-old who had breasts weighing 16 lbs. and of a woman of thirty who had knockers weighing<


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