Smooth Operator Writes 21st Editorial!
on 10/9/2002 (2)
When Smooth Operator opened it's figurative doors to the public nearly two months ago, critics openly bashed the site for being stupid. "This site is just plain stupid," commented on critic, "Serious... what the fuck?!? They expect us to enjoy reading this crap? It's like a small child wrote it. I feel dumber for having found this piece of trash." Few critics ever thought that this site would last through the weekend and even fewer thought it was worth lasting the weekend. Many called for an immediate end to the site, stating that it was unethical, unmoral, and less funny than Tom Arnold. Fortunately for those involved with the site, it has stood the test of time and has now written it's 21st article, a true sign that Smooth Operator has finally made it.
|It doesn't take a genius to tell what this man thinks of Smooth Operator. |
"I was a little hurt at first," commented Kris, founder of this very site and self-proclaimed future Mr. Universe. "All I ever did was try to please these guys and buy their support with thousands of dollars and instead they choose to verbally bash my site and light bags of shit on fire on my porch." And this criticism is something that has lasted throughout the long history of Smooth Operator. "They haven't gotten any better," another critic commented. "In fact, I would have to honestly say they have done everything in their power to drive this site into the ground."
Still though, through all the problems, Smooth Operator has hung on and is now breaking into the coveted 21 article zone, a zone in which most sites these days never reach. One such site not to make it was Wahoo.com. Wahoo was set to be a direct competitor to Yahoo.com. Sadly though, critics labeled this site as a bigger waste of time than the movie Battlefield: Earth. And with that, viewership declined and stock values dropped from $400 a share to 50 cents a share. "We thought we had captured the viewers in a vengeful net of quality content, timely news, and advanced search features," commented Wahoo founder Tito Smith. "Then they labeled us at the Battlefield: Earth of the internet. It was all downhill from there. Not even a pairing with pop sensation Milli Vanilli could save our site "
|Once more you open the door And you're here in my heart And my heart will go on and on. |
"I never expected that they would write over 20 articles," said Leon McCritic when asked his thoughts on Smooth Operator. "Most people realize their articles are crap after the first five or ten, but this site is persistent in churning out crap week in and week out. I've got to give them credit for that, though I really wish they would stop. Can't they take a hint?"
"These guys need to be taken off of the air," said another critic, "Al Gore didn't invent the Internet so people could go out and slander others and express their own opinions. The Internet is for government approved content and porn, and funny flash animations making fun of Democrats and the Amish. Smooth Operator provides none of this content."
"I'm not sure why people hate us so much," commented Kris. "We're just a small site trying to make it in the big bad world by writing funny stories and letting people know the dangers of reading and their impending doom at the hands of a team of robots so cold-hearted that they could only be Canadian, and binary, and robots." Studies of Smooth Operator seem to indicate that the hate towards them stems from a lack of quality<
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