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Dazzled California Man Suddenly Realizes Life Is An Artificial Contsruct
by Mark on 10/15/2005 (0)

Ancient wisdom, or just ancient yadayada?
PARADISE, CA - Telecommunications executive Spin Zooker suddenly awakens to life's true meaning, or lack thereof.


Zooker reclined nervously on his Barcalounger Presidential crushed Valencia leather lounge, chewing a corner of Psychology Today like a teething Shar-Pei puppy

"I-It suddenly hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. There I was, humming along in my Lexus LS400, contemplating my 8 years at Berkeley, a six figure paycheck, a great accountant wife with a law degree and two tolerable daughters, gleefully pondering something I had read in The Book of Tea by Kakuzo Okakura, when my Western core education came into immediate and catastrophic collision with Far East Zen Buddhism. The result was more total, and terrible, than I could ever imagine.

Spin Zooker was not alone. Across America, highly educated, sensation seeking professionals, seeking solace in Far East wisdom, seem incapable of reconciling Western values with Far Eastern principles of inner harmony. The affect is one of a negative and a positive particle colliding in a cataclysmic blast of light and energy, effectively canceling each other out.

"A-All of a sudden it occurred to me...everything that I place my self esteem and self-worth in. Everything that gives me comfort and purpose, are just electrical flashes between neurons in my brain. The World as I see it is not the real world at all, just a cascade of billions of chemical reactions and biochemical electric currents. I-It's all too much to take."

Zooker outlined plans to "Quit his job, move to rural Oregon, and meditate to find his Center, inner peace and his true place in God's Universe", although Zooker's accountant, Marty Blaushfeld, warned "When those goddamn creditors and estate tax bills start coming in, Zook will wish that the paper they're printed on was nothing more than a flash of neurons, or freaking electrical impulses, or goddamn whatever."


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