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Rising Gasoline Prises Cut Into Area Mans Beer Money
by Mark on 12/11/2005 (0)

Drain, drain, drain, drain, It all goes down the drain!
QUANDRY, OK - Quandry, Oklahoma resident Bud Conteen laments "a serious reduction in funds available for beer" due to high gasoline prices at his local BP gas station.

"This is bullshit. I drive about 20 miles a day to and from work, so with the weekends figured in, that's about 500 miles a month. My Ford Ranger pickup gets about 20 miles to the gallon, so with gas at $2.50 a gallon like it is now, I'm spending somewhere around 63 bucks a month on gas. Back in gasolines heyday, it was around $1.50 a gallon, which means I was spending about $38 a month, a difference of $25, or $6.25 a week less."

In Conteen's case, that $6.25 a week translates into a six pack of premium beer, a bag of hot salsa Doritos, and a "Lucky Lindy" Oklahoma state instant lottery ticket.

"I've had to make some major lifestyle changes. I've had to switch over to crappy low-grade brands, like Old Milwaukee or Schaefers, no way around it. If I buy generic corn chips, and eliminate the lottery tickets, I can cut that figure in half, and still satisfy a tiny fraction of my daily alcohol quota, albeit in the form of an inferior brew. This is pure hell, I tell you, and it's high time that someone in Washington did something about it, posthaste!"

Conteen also fitfully pondered reductions in his $7 dollar a day gourmet deliwhich large roast beef sub stop at the local Speedway Primo Shoppe, $20 toward twice a week pizza parties at work, and $200 a month toward some "really kick-ass Kona bud."h


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