Kellogg's Loses Lawsuit, Can No Longer Claim Frosted Flakes Great
on 1/9/2006 (2)
For years, Frosted Flakes cereal has been peddled to consumers by having a cartoon tiger named Tony proclaim "They're great", a claim that up until recently has never been challenged.
|"They're grrrr... um, they're alright." |
In a landmark case tried and decided earlier today, a California small claims court judge ruled against Kellogg's, makers of Frosted Flakes, stating that their mascot Tony the Tiger had mislead the public with claims their cereal was "Great" when it was really just "satisfactory". The plaintiff in the case, industrial waste disposal specialist John Smelt, was awarded $2.50 in damages, the full price including tax of a box of Frosted Flakes he purchased earlier that week.
"This wasn't about getting my money back, this was about the principal of the matter," said Smelt following the decision. "For years, Tony the Tiger has been running around proclaiming that Frosted Flakes are great when in fact, they are not. I shudder to think how many people have been duped by this clever ploy."
The case initially seemed to be in a deadlock until the findings of an independent panel agreed that Frosted Flakers weren't great. This panel was made up of ten randomly chosen people, including the court's gardener, a local mailman, and the guy who does Prince's hair.
"Honey Bunches of Oats, now those are great," said the gardener, who was found watering the flowers surrounding the courthouse shortly after the case concluded. "These Frosted Flakes, they are like the that slacker stepson of mine who just sits in the basement all day smoking pot and talking about how great it would be if there were no doors. If his mom didn't have such nice jugs, his ass would be on the street."
In addition to the monetary settlement, the court ruling also requires that Kellogg's can no longer claim Frosted Flakes to be great in the state of California. All advertising material is currently being changed to claim "They're OK".
"It's a sad day when a bunch of morons working under the guise of the Law tell us that we can't make a truthful statement based entirely in fact about the best cereal ever," said Kellogg's spokesman and fictitious cartoon tiger, Tony the Tiger. "Obviously we will be challenging this ruling as soon as possible."h="0" hei
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