Smooth Operator Writer Arrested For Connection to Illegal Sesame Street Gambling Ring
on 2/8/2006 (2)
Tuesday night Smooth Operator writer/founder Kris Steele was arrested in connection to an illegal Sesame Street gambling ring in which he processed more than 1,000 wagers from 6 to 12 year old children, totaling over $400.
|Care to place a wager on which of these characters spells a word first? |
Steele was taking bets on items ranging from the number of cookies Cookie Monster would eat, how high the Count would count, if Bert and Ernie would kiss, and whether or not Snuffleupagus would trample Elmo.
State Police Captain Nathan James said an investigation, named "Operation Big Bird", discovered the gambling ring after his 10 year old son told James about a "mean man that took his bike as payment for gambling debts he could not repay".
"I am not mean," objected Steele.
"Yes you are," replied James.
"Shut up, I hate you," finished Steele.
A subsequent search of Steele's home has revealed countless tricycles, jump ropes, and pictures of the Olson Twins. It appears the tricycles and jump ropes were taken as payment for unplayable debts though the reason for the Olson Twins pictures is still unknown.
"Steele received illegal Sesame Street bets from wagers and funneled money back into his faltering website Wellplayed.net," said James. "That site is going down quicker than Kevin Federline's career."
Steele has been a fan favorite during his years with Smooth Operator. One loyal reader even went so far as to described him as "of average height with a medium build."
"I don't think anyone is all that surprised," said fellow writer Mark Motz. "Steele would do anything for a buck, nothing is below him."
Steele is currently free after posting his $50 bail. He is slated to be arraigned in state Superior Court in Lansing, Michigan within two weeks, though many close to Steele feel he will flee the country.
Smooth Operator lawyer Defacto McLaw has advised his client not to speak out on the matter, but that hasn't stopped Steele from venting his frustration and lashing out at the media. Most recently at a press conference, Steele physically attacked a local reporter with a spatula and called her a "dirty commie-loving whore".
Steele will continue to write for Smooth Operator during the duration of his trial. His position with the site will be reevaluated pending the outcome of the trial.
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