Fun Infused Games  |   Evil Scale  |  |  |   Starcraft Live  |   Fun Pages  |   Your ad here. Twitter RSS 
Home  Archive  Search  Forum  Members  Subscribe  Links  About  Advertise
Americans hate Maine, looks to defect to Iraq
by Kris on 10/15/2002 (32)

You loved him in the Gulf War, now see him live in a state near you!
Recent studies performed by the National Center for National Studies (NCNS) on the United States population has discovered that nearly 70% of all Americans hate the state of Maine and Maine related paraphernalia. These studies were performed by a random polling of people all across the nation using fliers taped onto a brick and thrown through the windows of potential pollees. It is calculated that the percent error on this poll is no bigger than plus or minus 2%. The NCNS has always prided itself with doing the most accurate polling in the entire nation. Many people have even claimed that the NCNS polls are often times a little too accurate. Given these facts, it is safe to assume that the poll results are not in error and should be taken as fact.

"It was a rather shocking discover," claimed the President of the NCNS, "If anything, we expected that people wouldn't like Alabama."

The poll results, which were published in a recent issue of Cat Fancy, seem to have not only angered the state of Maine but also left them sad and alone. "Sure we have little to nothing to offer the rest of the United States, but really, why do they hate us?" commented one Maininite. "We're honest people, just like the rest of you," commented another. "I don't understand why everyone hates us."

Those outside of Maine seem to have plenty of reasoning for their deep hatred of Maine. "I'm just sick of these freeloaders. We make all their goods, cook all their meals, and school all their children and for what? So those snotty toad-lickers can sit around their precious blueberries and Maine lobster," commented Jon VonJovey. "I didn't found the United States so that some bastard State could sit around and give us all a lousy name," said former President George Washington, recently risen from the grave on a mission to become the first dead President to reach the highest point in all forty-eight states in the continental United States. "This country needs to take a stand in these tough times and have Maine violently removed from the Union!"

Could this be the future of Maine? Signs point to yes.
Should Maine be removed from the United States, it seems it will mostly likely be done with a tactical nuclear strike. "We're gonna bomb the hell out of them," commented current President George Bush, "It will make what we did to Afghanistan look like a fireworks show." After what will likely be the largest loss of human life in the past four-hundred years, Maine will likely be pillaged by rouge Canadian Eskimo tribes. "We will steal their American technology, eh" commented Ooktar, the leader of one such tribe, "Fire will finally be ours yah eh."

Not everyone is for the total annihilation of the state of Maine. "I think Maine would make a good addition to Iraq," commented Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "Maine would make a perfect base of operations for deploying biological weapons against the United States, and the people of Maine would make excellent mindless zombie robots for which I will use to build giant temples in the likeness of mindless zombie robots." Talks have already began with Maine Governor Angus King. "Saddam is really a nice guy, just a bit misunderstood," commented King. "He's going to improve roads, build schools, lower taxes, and provide the cruel iron fisted dictatorship that Maine has been yearning for for oh so many years. We've gone as far as we can with the United States, joining the Iraqi federation is clearly the next step.

page has been viewed 19760 times


1. by on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Huh?????isplay:none"></ </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Huh is right yo! WTF?!? </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
3. by Eric on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Nuke em all baby!isplay </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
4. by Quimquay on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I liked it!isplay:none" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
5. by Matt on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Come on, this is BS! Everyone knows that everyone in the US hates California. And well you should, for despite the massive amount of immigrants the reproduce like bunnies on viagra, never ending traffic jams, immense cost of living expense, etc. and so on... living a few miles from the beach in CA still rules. Have fun shoveling snow or sweating your fat asses off suckers! Hahahahaha!n.r </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
6. by Wes on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM this really what people think about Maine? Fuck that people, Maine's not that bad, cuz I live here - It's Texas that needs geological reconstruction (better keep my mouth shut or good 'ol Bush will have a word). Christ, they're the most obease state (although we are second). So point is people and author of this shitty article, you can go blow a donkey because Maine is about missing school days from huge ass blizzards and getting to clear it all with an environmentally challenging snowblower. -Peace, Wes Txz90@hotmail.comisplay:none" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
7. by Jamie Pritchard on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I really liked the article. i think it definitly puts hits the nail on the head. everything is true.m </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
8. by Jeremy on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I totally agree Wes! It's all about the snow days and skiing days. Why destroy a state that is as beautiful as Maine when you can go screw up a State people don't even know exists, like Wyoming, Montana, both Dakotas...practically all of the Central US. Long long East-West Coast! </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
9. by thump on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Everyone should hate New Mexico, they have enough nukes to be the third largest nuclear power in the world. Everyone hates nukes. And immigrants, N.M. has way more immigrants than Maine. Everyone hates immigrants And the brutal sun in N.M. makes residents of that state much more likely candidates for zombification than Mainers. Additionaly, mr. Vonjoveys comments that people in Maine are "toad-lickers" is in error. New Mexico is home to the toad with the trippy secretions, and the poor, uneducated, illiterate masses who lick them. VIVA LA MAINE!"0" style </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
10. by Matt on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Yeah that article was a load of shit. Maine is the best damn State out there. We don't even have the immigrant problem like those southern States, except for those damn Somalies! Send in 10 million Californians, and see how many make it out alive. 'Dirigo' all the way!!!!! mightyhansome@yahoo.comtp:/ </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
11. by Jynxx on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Pfft, the Dakotas could kick ALL your asses... South Dakota at least. North Dakota's a bit on the wussy side. If you're looking for a state to attack, what about Idaho? What the hell do they do for us anyway? Go for Idaho, and why not Missouri while you're at it? We'll make this the greatest US that could exist! (By the way, that article was great) :)ig </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
12. by yak on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Okay. I don't hate Maine. In fact, nobody does. But come on--is it really wise to single out the state with the most nuclear weaponry? With two of the world's best nuclear labs? And I can understand why you would be sad not to have hallucinogenic toads in Maine, since I'm sure licking your plain variety is not as interesting. The sun and altitude just make us tough. That's all. Love and sweet dreams, America's Nuclear Colonyone">< </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
13. by omistebis on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I couldn't care less about your petty American rivalry, but what the hell have you people got against Canada?! In every article you diss us! I've never said 'eh' once in my entire life! And we don't live in igloos, you dimwits. And we're bylingual, thus we're smarter than you anyways. Think about it... src=" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
14. by passerby on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
war only makes more war."0" style=" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
15. by dana the psychomatic freak on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
yea i agree but isnt delaware the bich of america and n ew jersy the dump of america ......hmm..... does anyone like america???i </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
16. by Main is fine, I hate California!!! on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Californians brag way too much about their state. Everywhere I turn, they are bragging about the weather or the diversity or this or that. If you haven't been to California, the weather sucks. I grew up in New Mexico where every summer day was nice and warm. You could wake up each day expecting a hot summer day full of swimming and barbeques. Not here. You're lucky if you get four days of sun. Then it's four days of rain. You might even get a small earthquake or two. It never stays the same. I got my hopes up Wednesday because I woke up to a sunny day. Now, these past few days, it has been rainy and cloudy and chilly. Who knows what it will be like tomorrow? And the diversity? There's no diversity. Conservatives aren't welcome here. Republicans are laughed at. Everyone spits in Bush's face and you're not like them if you actually support our President. There are a lot of different skin colors here, but the personalities, values (what values?) and beliefs are all the same. Abort Liberals (my favorite bumper sticker, I'd probably get killed if I put one on my car over here). I knew nothing about California when I came here. Actually, I was brainwashed by t.v. that is was all beaches and blondes. (I rarely see blondes here in the Bay Area). Now, I know. I know that I will never belong here. God is not welcome here, and if God isn't, then I'm leavingone"></ifra </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
17. by canuck on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
at least you guys don't have alberta and you have to deal with those two head cases, you dont know how lucky you are!"0" style= </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
18. by the best side of Canada on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
At least you guys dont have ONTARIO...seriously...Californians are cool...we are stuck with these eminen loving posers who dont even have the cajones to get off a fence...MOFOS!!!! seriously...timmy ho's and second best coffee is not an acceptable means of survival...oh and to top it off they call the know the only redeeming qualities of this nation...CONFORMISTS...much like you, my dear americans...i have NO idea what lululemon, apart from Mr. Sam Roberts...the rest of you montrealers can just go and hang at timmy hos.... sincerely, a disgruntled world citizen who still believes that socialism is the canadian dream those in odot that i value...this does not go out to you. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
19. by eula23 on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Maine is the worst place supposedly in this dimension!The inhabitants ,especially in Waterville,are the creepiest looking,rudest,coldest,meanest excuses for humanity anywhere!!!.As God is my witness,I'll never set foot there </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
20. by toxteth on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Maine's cool. but yeah, waterville is creepy.h=" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
21. by Dreamer Schemer Ring-tailed Lemur on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
funny article and whoohoo! Louisiana! Down with Florida.?sid </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
22. by Ryan on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
"Maininite"? What the hell's a "Maininite"? Get with the program. I am 100% Mainah. "Mainiac" if you must. I guess I don't understand where this guy's coming from. Central Maine has neither blueberries nor lobstah. We've got trees...and a Wal*Mart. So, get your facts straight. Why don't you try visiting a state before you bash it? It's not all about snow...we enjoy all four seasons...and getting days off because it's too damned cold to go outside, either...'cause guess what? It's too damned cold to go outside. Not so fun. Why this state is called "Vacationland" I will never know, but it's not a bad place to be. src= </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
23. by Ryan on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Oh, oh, oh! And I've only seen like three frogs...EVER. Seriously. And two were dead. And, personally, I've never heard of frog-licking. Just kind of strange to me...where all of these rumours come from...weird </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
24. by Haley on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Hilarious article! I so got the joke, and I'm from Maine. This really had me laughing. Great work! So, when are we going to become mindless zombies?h="0" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
25. by Tracy on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
WTF!!!!!People who believe that shit are just plain f***ing stupid. Yeah it highly taxed but they help alot more than what you think who do you think builds some very important shit for the military...As Americans we should have learned our lesson on HATERS, grow up..Who ever wrote that article is just stupid and you know what they say "Stupid is as Stupid does".i </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
26. by mc on 3/23/2007 7:44:15 PM
Theres an old saying...As Maine goes so goes the nation. Maine natives chew up spikes and spit out tacks. We have Moxie </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
27. by Grem on 6/25/2009 8:14:00 PM
LOL I had the unfortunate fate of ending up in waterville and graduating from the highschool. And I 100 percent agree Maine sucks balls and waterville blow hardest of them all next to Lewiston. Obese, Rude, Miserable people for the most part. Sugarloaf is the bomb tho. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
28. by karl on 8/5/2009 2:27:30 PM
i have a love hate relationship with maine, but c'mon new jersey is by far the most hated state in america </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
29. by Avery L on 2/25/2010 2:22:43 PM
I hate Maine. and i live here. it's a pathetic excuse for a state. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
30. by imouttahere on 12/17/2010 11:01:13 AM
I live in Bangor Maine and according to a recent study it ranks #6 as being the most dangerous places to drive a vehicle. Also there is nothing for people do do here but smoke dope, drink to excess, and stand on the corner yelling at strangers if they won't lend them a cig. Also several times at night I've seen people partying on their decks or porches and they try to instigate fights with passers by. Seems like all people know what to do is be angry drunks and beat people up... or get drunk and argue about who's got the worst life story (as if that is something to be proud of). Out of my window I can see people young and old coming home from the local corner stores with 40s of High Gravity beer and drinking it in public as they walk down the middle of the street. When a car honks at them they just stare at the driver with mean looks. One night while walking home a man ran off his porch and pushed me down into the street for no good reason. I could smell alcohol and the gibberish he was shouting confirmed that he was intoxicated. I'm also sick of the over priced tiny apartments in that area and 99% of all the buildings in Bangor Maine are dilapidated run down creepy and smelly. Mainers are NOT the kind hearted stereotypes that TV once portrayed. Maybe on the coast during the summer when they are paid to be nice. But I've had a few coastal jobs in which the staff would make fun of the out of staters. Mainers in Bangor are very much racist, homophobic, uneducated freaks with nothing but anger in their hearts. They drink too much, pop too many pills or pass out in cabs on their way home from the methadone clinics. Most of them are dangerous and I constantly hear about or see fights on a regular basis when these jerks go looking to beat someone up because they are unhappy and bored. Most of them are sly because they will try to "instigate" someone into saying something that will give them an excuse to throw a punch. In psychology I think this may be called Cognitive Dissonance. The alcoholics are just looking to show how tough they are but don't want to take blame for their own actions so what they do is try to verbally harass someone who passes by on the street into saying something back... then the fists fly. It's sad really. I almost feel sorry for Bangor Maine. No culture really and what tiny bit of culture they do have is laughable. Drug and Alcohol abuse rates are sky high along with a higher than national average suicide rate. I've wanted to get out of Maine for so long.. specially after growing up in Maine and being bullied constantly by the hillbillies in my school. But money is tight and once you get trapped way up in Maine it's a hard place to get out of. But I'm working on it. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
31. by lobsterbreath on 3/31/2011 2:00:46 PM
Ten Reasons Why Maine Sucks: 1. Maine is filled with rubes and rednecks. (So I guess Maine is okay if you fall in either of these two categories). 2. It snows for weeks on end until there is no where else to put the snow and then it keeps snowing. 3. Maine girls are ugly and probably already pregnant. 4. Maine thinks it is contributing to America by providing blueberries and toothpicks. 5. The farthest away from Maine anyone from Maine has ever been is Walt Disney World or Universal Studios Florida. 6. Maine people drink too much then crash their snowmobile. 7. The closest city to Maine is Boston and they both have similar accents. 8. People from Maine can't find California on a map. 9. Maine is diverse if you consider diversity different shades of pale. 10. It takes 3 hours to drive a block down route 1 in the summertime. I could go on and on. Maine is by far the worst state in the U.S. I'll stay warm, thanks. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
32. by LeftMaineInMyRearview on 8/21/2011 1:20:22 PM
I've lived in several different places-3 different states-and Maine was by far the worst. Tough? I don't think so. It snows one inch and they close the entire state. They whine about almost everything. They absolutely are THE most xenophobic people I have ever encountered (for Maine natives: go ahead, look the word up-it does exist). I also had never encountered such hatred as that which those from Maine appear to possess. I believe "Mainers' (note I do not add the ubiquitous and obnoxious "ah" at the end)" pride is rather misplaced. Beautiful? Hardly. Try finding a decent spot on the coast that isn't privately owned, or overrun by rocks and crappy "mud" sand. The rest of the state (and yes, I've seen pretty much all of it-straight up to New Brunswick) is nothing but trees, rocks, and mud. When I say trees, I mean impenetrable trees. I love trees, but non-stop, no change in landscape conifers right up to the road is enough to make anyone claustrophobic. Don't even ask about the roads themselves. Nothing but holes and very poorly patched holes. Additionally, Maine actually joyfully lays claim to a "mud season" that they seem inordinately proud of, likely because they are proud of the fact that they can't afford real driveways. Never have I seen so many dirty/muddy driveways in my life. Of course, that simply fits right in with the overall Maine philosophy: "Dirty, dumb, and proud." Just check out the misspellings and over-the-top angry tirades with numerous expletives that are written by "Mainers" who don't have a clue that anything else exists outside their state. They are angry because they have little to be proud of (e.g. red hots that are dyed an artificial and rather bizarre shade of bright red-mmmm, healthy!!). Drug and alcohol addiction is undeniably huge in Maine. And, to become so angry and defensive over something meant to be entirely tongue-and-cheek; need I say more? I am SOO grateful to have left the state of Maine. Massachusetts can take it back. It's nice to be happy about the place in which you live. If you are, then congratulations. I am exquisitely happy-I returned to a much nicer, friendlier state (New York, believe it or not. No, NOT NYC. It is a large state.). Have a sense of humor Maine natives. Oh, that's right, you don't have one. You're from Maine. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

What animal is this a picture of?

x Enter the simple name for this animal... i.e., if you see a "north american grizzly bear", just enter "bear".
Surround you text with the following tags to use special formatting:
[B][/B] for Bold text.
[I][/I] for Italic text.
[QUOTE][/QUOTE] for a quote.

For example, in order to write "Smthop rules" in bold, you would enter: [B]Smthop rules[/B].




More referrals |  Add Site

Business   Editorials   Education   Entertainment   Feature   Food   Health   Law   Politics   Religeon   Site News   Space   Sports   Tech   US News   Video Games   World News  


Copyright 2010 Smooth Operator.
Website Design by SteeleITS - Privacy Policy