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National Anthem In Spanish Dilemma Creates Nationwide Bandwagon Effect
by Mark on 5/1/2006 (0)

"We are the four...formally threeeee...amigos! Ole!"
(AP) With Mexican illegal immigrants embroiled in a cultural tussle that is highlighted by immigrants seemingly attempting to force a Spanish rendition of the American National Anthem on an obviously unreceptive U.S. public, an unforseen bandwagon effect has spun off, instigating minority nationalities nationwide into demanding that multi-lingual versions of the National Anthem be scripted in their own tongue as well.

Waving his hands like a Boston Pops orchestra maestro, Ohio Italian American Giuseppe "Joe-Joe" Petti rants, pants and raves.

"If the Mexicans can sing the National Anthem in Spanish, then why not Italiano! We Italians built this country with our own 2 hands! If they can have their version, we want ours! Figlio di puttana!"

Heinrich Stutt of the German American League disagrees

"America is built on GERMAN technology and discoveries. Without GERMAN science and engineering genius, there would be no America. Clearly, the National Anthem should be sung in GERMAN."

Other groups have stepped forward demanding equal musical representation, including the Latvians, Croations, French, Irish, Hungarians, Chinese, Indian, (both native American Indian and Indian Indian), and even a few Canadians.

Professor Brodsky LaFarge of Princeton University describes the current "Anthem Wars" as one of cultural invasion.

"America, at least inititally, was an English colony. That is how, when and why the original National Anthem was scripted in English in the first place. It's rather ticklesome when one muses over the notion that another culture, notably descendants of Spanish colonials, would demand that their own language be forced upon what was originally an English colony. After all, the Spanish and English were at war over global colonization for hundreds of years. I suppose the current influx of Mexicans into America may be seen as a continuation of that colonial conflict, in a very real sense."

Lafarge cautions that encroaching cultural values and norms are truly a form of "velvet invasion", and that although Mexico and America are not at war, the results are often the same as those that result from war: A forced intercourse of language and culture.

"You need not fire a shot to conquer a nation. What Mexican immigrants are doing is nothing new whatsoever in the annals of world history, and there are no real rules of engagement, either. If they have the cahones, so to speak, to make it stick, then it sticks. As far as a language specific National Anthem for every nationality in America goes, I think things would tend to get confusing. What the English language represents to America is what MS-DOS represents to computers: A common language of communication that everyone agrees upon and is well versed in. If you have 2 or more competing languages in America, it will stall commerce, throw a wrench in law enforcement, and generally muck up the works."

There is some speculation that Congress may bend, and consider a rotating "National Anthem of the Day" in all of the 336 foreign languages spoken in America, but cautioned "We don't want to draw this silly issue out too long. After all, what are you supposed to sing at a Yankees game, for Christ's sake?"

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