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Sprucy Sign Fails To Ritz Up Crappy Condo
by Mark on 5/8/2006 (2) 
 | | All signs point to less. | | LAKE PLACID - A brand new brick and artisan carved and painted mahogany lawn sign has failed to breath new life into the 40 year old Lake Placid Condo Park community, according to bemused and bewitched residents.
"Last thing we need is a new damn sign." Snarled long time resident Hattie Hatfield. "I've got black mold growing in my laundry room, and the stucco on my west wall has more rust stains than a WW II battle cruiser. Nice new sign my ass, we need some basic overhaul maintenence done around here instead!"
Most condo owners agreed with Hatfield, that the new sign was no way indictitve of the sometimes marginal living conditions in their pricey condo suites. Paper thin walls, clogged plumbing and lack of proper heating and cooling also plauged the hapless inhabitants, often resulting in organized uproar.
"My walls are so rice-paper thin, I can hear it when my neighbor scratches his balls, no lie! There's a lot of things that money could have been better spent on, and that's the fact!"
Recalcitrant complex owner Ed Codge fessed up when prodded, however, quipping: "The sign gets prospective new tenants in the rental office, the rube model suite and the sunset view of Lake Placid does the rest."
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