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Local Girl Eats Marigold Petals, Turns Orange
by Mark on 5/16/2006 (0)

Perdue does chicken right!
DANGER BAY, ME - Danger Bay resident Lyssa Honeycutt recently lamented "eating bushels and bushels of marigold petals" in a haphazard, futile attempt to capture an everlasting tan.

"I-I was just so white over the winter!" Sobbed Honeycutt "I got the idea from Frank Perdue the chicken guy. He feeds his chickens marigold petals, and they turn such a lovely tannish golden hue. I-I figured I'd try the same, but it backfired! *sob!*"

Indeed, Honeycutt not only failed to achieve the healthy faux quasi-orangish tan often associated with spray on tans and carotene tinted lotions, her hapless attempt resulted in a skin tone reminiscent of Valencia oranges, and a California type at that.

"I-I just want to be the old me again! I'll never do this just for stupid boys ever again, ever! *sob!*

Honeycutt's M.D., Dr. R. Jay Herman, assured her it would fade in a month or two, but cautioned that she try to avoid "direct sunlight between noon and 4:00 p.m., tanning booths and outdoor barbecues, not necessarily in that order."

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