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Car Taken Into Custody After Running Down Owner
by Kris on 5/23/2006 (0)

The nation's latest outlaw.
New York - A 76-year-old woman who drove to a cemetery to visit her husband's grave has been killed by her 1991 Lincoln Continental.

The woman, whom we will refer to as "that idiot", left the car running and in gear when she stopped at Maple Grove Cemetery in Queens Sunday afternoon, police said.

She was about 50 feet from her husband's grave when the car mowed her down and fled the scene. She was pronounced dead shortly afterward.

The car was picked up later that day after a high speed chase that left hundreds of otherwise bored commuters entertained. The car is currently being held by the New York City police. Bail was denied at a hearing earlier today.

After interviewing those close to the car, it appears that the car had suffered years of abuse at the hands of the victim. This abuse included but was not limited to infrequent oil changes, poor tire inflation, and the indignity of being plastered with tacky bumper stickers like "Honk if you love knitting".

Prosecutors said they will not seek the death penalty when the car goes to trial next month. They would not discuss the details of their case, but did note that "the old lady was kind of a bat, I'd probably run her down given the chance too."nem


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