Stupidly Placed Copy Of Gourmet Magazine Derails Workplace Weight Loss Attempt
on 5/31/2006 (0)
MAPLE CREAM, ME - A foolishly placed copy of Gourmet Magazine recently derailed a concerted workplace weight loss effort at the Peanut Packaging Corporation in Maple Cream, Maine early Tuesday. Peanut Packaging general manager Melissa Crisp describes:
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"A few of us noticed we were getting, well, a little full figured, and agreed to a great "weight-out" company effort. Everyone went along with it, and even enjoyed the support, and it was actually working quite well until someone stupidly placed a copy of 'Gourmet Magazine' in the lunchroom. Things, well, went south real quick after that."
The Gourmet Magazine in question described numerous sumptuous recipes and feasts, such as Steak! Glorious Steak! and 101 of the Queens favorite canape recipes. Other highly descriptive, glossily photographed main course articles included "pepper corn crusted prime rib au jous, served medium rare, with wild rice pilaf, spinach souffle, shrimp remoulade, and a walnut-rum steamed dessert pudding, and a grilled prosciutto-wrapped rosemary-grilled scallops steamed asparagus entree with a gratin de fruit rouge berries gratin afterglow."
Other notable recipes described honey-crusted pistachio baklava, creme brule burnt cream custard, and espresso-kahlua New York deli style cheesecake.
Crisp shook her head, and tossed the magazine down softly.
"After reading those recipes, three ounces of rice cakes and a sandwich bag fulla carrot sticks just doesn't make it. You want to know the funny part, though? Where do you think everyone went for lunch after reading these articles? A French restaurant? Nope. They went to McDonalds for a quarter pounder with cheese meal. Figure that one out!"
Company team-leaders have pledged more neutral and motivational literary lunchtime fare, such as the American Medical Journal and the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Issue in the kitchen from now on.
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