Sheep Theft by the Homeless a Growing Concern
on 6/20/2006 (5)
For years, the biggest threat to shepards and their flock was the elusive wolf. Sneaking into the flock dressed in sheep's skin, he would devourer two or three sheep before eventually being shooed away by the angry sheapard.
|Sexy kinda. |
But with rising unemployment rates and a higher cost of living, more people have turned to being homeless to get by. And more of these homeless have turned to stealing sheep.
"They steal sheep to use a pillows, to make warm winter coats, and often for sexual gratification," said long time shepard Jimmy Thomas. "I lose two to three sheep every month to the homeless."
Fortunately for the owners, locating the sheep is often as easy as spotting a large, fluffy white object poking it's head out of a cardboard box or dumpster in a back alley somewhere. Often times though, the sheep are never quite the same.
"Since being abducted, my sheep refuse to work and constantly smell of cheap liquor," said one angry Shepard.
Harsher penalties are currently planned in order to curb the increasing theft of sheep. Under the new laws, homeless people caught stealing sheep will be forced to get a "job" and to live in a "house" where they will eat "food" and be "sober".
Until these new laws can be enacted, local authorities are encouraging sheep owners to keep a close watch on their flock and to report any suspicious sheep/bum related activities immediately. Additionally, they recommend that all sheep should be up on their shots in the event that they are bitten by a homeless person or persons.
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