Forlorn Janitor Sadly Realizes No One Notices, Let Alone Pays Attention To Him
on 6/26/2006 (2)
PATHOS, NE - QuickyRates Insurance Company janitor Bob Utterbach finally came to the belated, sadly apparent observation that "no one finds me or anything I say interesting" in a sorrowful bout of self-inventory late Friday.
|The meek shall inheret the mop |
Utterbach leaned on his mop like a sea captain on a harpoon.
"I-I guess I just didn't never see it. When I used to tell the office staff stories about my hunting trip to Potter County, PA and the time I climbed Pike's Peak and won a special trophy hat, I thought they found me really interesting. Or when I showed them my new Case pocket-worn, Cancun-blue jigged-bone pocket knife, I thought they admired me for that. I had no idea they were making fun of me and stuff."
In truth, it was much worse than Utterbach ever imagined. The reality is, not only were the QuickyRates office staff not making fun of him, they weren't even paying attention, let alone listening to him.
QuickyRates Rates office manager Tammy Chang described her mental recollection of Utterbach as "that creepy janitor guy that always forgets to put a plastic trash bag in the server room and says kind of a mealy-mouthed, huckle-toothed 'hell-oo' to the secretary staff girls all the time", or "that grungy looking guy that picks the cigarette butts out of the hedges" and so on.
Utterbach frowned, swabbing the warehouse floor forlornly.
"I-I thought they knew me and liked me. Especially Donna in customer service. When I said 'hi' to her, I swore she smiled back. I just don't understand..."
In a parallel, downtrodden state, Donna in customer service sighed softly, lamenting: "No-one in management or executive pays attention to me in this place. No-one pays attention to me period...except that weirdo janitor guy. I-I might as well be a part of the damn furniture. It's just so damn depressing. *sob*!"0" he
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