Huge Zit Tanks Otherwise Perfect Job Interview
on 7/2/2006 (0)
ACME, IL - Prospective QuickyRates Insurance Corporation job applicant John David Stutts recently "totally tanked an othwerwise perfect job interview" due to a megalithic acne-like eruption on his forehead early Friday.
|"Uh, yeah, I'll try to squeeze you in next week! Hehe.." |
"Things started out great. I actually spent more than 10 minutes getting my resume tweaked out, made sure all of the dates and phone numbers were correct, washed my shirt and even ironed it, when I'm sitting in the interview room, when I felt this burning, throbbing pain just above my right eyebrow. The rest went right in the lumber yard after that."
Stutts described the lightning speed emergence of a gargantuan, throbbing zit-like eruption, "nearly the size of Rhode Island" just as he sat down to talk turkey with the QuickyRates human resource director.
"I was explaining what I did at my last job, and this guy was just staring at the zit on my head, and was saying things like "W-wow, that's a HUGE responsibility, huh?" and "Boy, you sound like you have a, uh, burning desire to succeed." and such. I don't think he heard a word I said. It was a total abortion. I feel so crushed."
Stutts was not the only job applicant to have their career ambitions spuriously squelched by an unforeseen, unwelcome visitor. Tales tell of the sudden onset of entire colonies of blazing red meanies, describing every astronomical constellation and connect the dot magazine puzzle ever devised by man. Indeed, zits are not alone in tainting otherwise promising interviews. Suit collar dandruff, a breakfast chimichanga stain on the tie, and an unfortunate bout of simple chronic halitosis are often equally malevolent in their deleterious effects on establishing a favorable first impression.
"I-I'm just hoping that he was able to see beyond my pimple and judge me for who I am inside and what my abilities are. I'm sure he will. I have faith that people are wise and compassionate that way. I'm not worried."
Unfortunately for Stutts, however, the QuickyRates human resource staff tossed his resume aside amid roiling laughter, recanting "Man, did you see the zit on that guys head?! I thought I was about to die! I originally wanted to offer him a position in our IT department, but I kept visualizing a Z before the IT, and couldn't keep a straight face. I haven't laughed so hard since that chick coughed up a hairball on my monitor. Now that was the funniest!"0"0" style
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