Large Bulbous Vein On Bosses Forehead Leads To Hilarious Nicknames
on 7/3/2006 (1)
KANKAKEE, IL - Quickyrates Insurance telephone call center manager Tommy Schmales recently fired off a heated inter-office memo regarding "spurious and defamatory nicknames aimed at him because of an unsightly, large thrombotic vein protruding from the middle of his forehead."
|"Oh Yeah?! That's Mr. Head to you!"" |
Schmales shredded document after document like a frustrated newbie Dominican cigar roller
"You know, this is not funny. I'm getting pissed off. All of these idiots know that I have a high pressure job and high blood pressure to go along with it. Yeah, I scream and yell a lot, but I've got quotas to meet! I can take a joke as much as any other guy, but this is too much, dammit!"
It seems the normally rambunctious Quickyrates staff had circulated a skillfully renditioned caricature of Schmales with an exaggerated bulbous vein on his head with caption tags like "Hi! My name is Richard Head!", "Scrotus Man" with a big Superman 'S' on his chest, or simply "Dick BigVeins!", until Schmales found a copy of the clandestine artwork in question on the lunchroom floor.
"This is not funny!" Fumed Schmales. "I have a serious medical condition! When I find out who did this, They're not going to see any daylight for the next 12 weeks of unpaid overtime! I can give you that!
The folsom caricature in question was sketched by a one highly talented Bob Levitts in the IT department, who was also reportedly responsible for the previous bootleg office masterpiece classics, "Tank-Ass Tina" from payroll and "Gyna" Regina in delinquent customer accounts and collections.
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