Cantakerous Tech Support Guy Actually Answers Question Without Usual Sarcasm
on 7/8/2006 (1)
SPRUNGFELD, IL - NanoMole Computer Inc. tech support rep Rich Spaulding recently acted "Oddly out of prescribed character," by answering an oft asked, simple user question without his usual surly brand of condescending snobby-tech demeanor according to a shocked and bemused co-worker Friday.
|"Errr...I dunno, do I look like I'm busy?" |
"Dick must be sick or something." Studiously pondered Spaulding's coworker Hans Krebbs "A customer called and asked how to format a floppy disk, and he actually instructed them, in a gentle, tolerant voice and tone, to insert the disk into drive A:, pull down 'format' from the tool bar, and didn't even get mad when he had to back up and explain what an 'A drive' was again. I'm stunned to say the least. This is entirely out of character."
Indeed, Spaulding's usual response to such an absurdly newbie inquiry usually entailed "Take the little hole on the disk, and put in on your nose. Now spin the disk, while repeating 'format me! I'm a dumbass!' over and over, advising simplistic OS software problemees to "Put your copy of Windows 98 in a brown paper bag along with 2 lbs. of crap, torch it, and put it outside of Bill Gate's door and yell 'Fire! Fire!', or telling new users the inevitable "Unplug the computer...now the monitor...now the keyboard and mouse, now box it all back up and take it back to where you bought it. You're too goddamn stupid to use a computer!"
"Must be something up with Dick." Krebbs reflected. "Last time he was nice to a customer was when he was written up by the boss, and even then it only lasted half a day, and his face nearly damn cracked. This guy is evil and tortuous by very nature, to say the least, but then again, so are most tech support agents. It's somewhat of a disease in the biz, I'm sad to say,"
Office theories abounded grappling to come to terms with Spaulding's sudden inexplicable genteel turnabout, but several plausible ones included "A free pack of cigarettes, winning an interoffice techie bet on how long an over clocked 1.33 Ghz AMD Athlon CPU can survive without a cooling fan, or telling a customer to go burn something, and actually having it happen."t0" sty
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