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Harshly Worded Saturday Morning Meeting Briefly Motivates Normally Torpid Sales Staff
by Mark on 8/21/2006 (0)

No go smile and sell, sell, sell!..And remember that not one of you in here is safe!
NEW BRUNSWICK, CT - A harshly worded Saturday morning sales meeting at the New Brunswick Mall Compusource computer store reportedly "scared the damp crap out of pretty much everyone" and sparked a massive staff resume circulation effort according to shocked and alarmed Compusource employees.

"This guy is fucking crazy." Related full time sales asscociate Bob Zimmerman. "He wants us to sell at least 3 systems a day, all with at least 5 high gross margin add ons, and mandatory extended warranties on hubs, routers and cables to boot? That's crazy, man. No one sells extended warranties on cables! Not even the great Robert Ramp in his heyday at the Lakeside strip could do that, and they do 3 times the volume that we do, and we're a friggin Mall store, man, not a strip store!

Indeed, the entire Compusource staff, jazzed and jangled by the unusually harshly worded morning meeting banter, beelined home to brush up and transmit updated resumes to as many employment agencies and online solicitors as humanly possible. No word describing a concerted mass exodus from the company surfaced, although employees quietly hissed their displeasure.

"On top of that, we're supposed to keep a smile on our face at all times, dust the shelves, vacuum the floor, and even clean the microwave in the kitchen in between customers." Fumed Zimmerman. "What the fuck does he think we are? Fucking Stepford wives? I'm outta here!"

Paul Silko, Compusource store manager, pshawed the apparent knee jerk defection, slyly offering, "Nahh...If these guys can produce one third of what I'm asking, I'll be happy. And as far as the resume rush goes, that'll pass quickly. Not one of them will remember any of it by Monday. Hell, if any of these slack-jobs were really that motivated, they wouldn't be working in this 4 dollar and hour plus commission quicksand of a career sucker in the first place!"


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