Huge Dent In Al-Zawahri's Forehead Pretty Much Overshadows Latest Death And Damnation Video
on 9/2/2006 (0)
A 48-minute video posted on an underground Islamic militant Web site featuring footage of al-Qaida's No. 2 leader, Ayman al-Zawahri, failed to stir the hoped for mass infidel conversion to Islam, and haplessly focused on the "gigundus, Kennedy half-dollar sized dent" smack in the middle of al-Zawahri's forehead instead.
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"Jesus, that suckers big!" Studiously pondered Kankakee, Illinois resident John David Stutts. "It's like huge. I wonder if shampoo gets stuck in it when he takes a shower, does he like have to rinse extra hard with a wash cloth and stuff to get the soap out? Man, if I were him, I lower my turban a few wraps, that's for damn sure!"
"I wonder if it hurts?" Quizzickly inquired Moline gas station clerk Loretta Starkowitz "I mean, it's gotta be painful. I have a scar on my leg from when I was a kid, and when it rains, that sucker hurts!"
As it went, the folsom underground Al-Qaida video not only failed to stir the mass support and quick conversion to Islam that al-Zawahri had hoped for, it raised myriad pie-eyed inquiries of wide-eyed wonder as to nature of the gaping crevasse smack-dead-centered on the rogue Muslim's already severely grimacing countenance instead. Indeed, any sense of lingering credibility al-Zawahri formerly acquired was immediately lost, never to be reestablished ever again.
"I wonder if it fills up with water when he looks up when its raining." chuckled Starkowitz. "And if it does, when he tilts his head back down again real fast, does he get like a splish of water on his nose? Now that would be the absolute funniest!"
On the same wavelength, Bill Orban, owner of the Euclid Tavern lounge, had hoped for a cameo appearance where in al-Zawahri lies down and fills the dent in his head with a shot of Cutty Sark, and then sits up real quick and tries to catch it in his mouth, but frankly admits "getting in touch with the guy might be a bigger impasse than mopping up the bar if he misses."
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