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Local Gal Gets Addicted To Oxycontin, Blames Hydrocodone Instead
by Mark on 9/14/2006 (0)

CALIGULA, MS - Caligula, Mississippi resident Lyssa Honeycutt blamed a recent persistent addiction to the powerful opiate pain killer Oxycontin to the somewhat lesser opiate pain killer Hydrocodone. Rattling a bottle of pills like a Navajo shaman, Honeycutt describes.

"It all started out innocently enough. I broke my ankle jogging, and regular aspirin didn't cut it, so I went to the doc, and he gave me some Darvocets. Well, that didn't make a dent in the pain, either, so he gave me some Hydrocodone. Mmmm...that was better, and as one event led to another I finally got hold of Oxycontin, I was hooked, so to speak, both literally and figuratively. Amen."

Honeycutt paused for the briefest moment to actually breath in some air

"I suppose it could have been the Fioricet or the Talwin too, maybe the Neurontin, the ANSAIDS as a whole, Xanax, MS Contin, Flexeril, Percocets, Kadian, Avinza, Imitrx, Tylenol 3's, Diazepam or maybe even the Soma or Tramadol. They say Tramadol isn't addictive, but I know otherwise. But frankly, I blame the Hydrocodone. Yes, that's the one."

Dr. Nick Van Ness, Honeycutt's physician, pshawed and tossed Honeycutt's medical chart down hard. "The problem isn't about what Lyssa is cramming down her throat every morning, it's probably more about what she isn't shoving up her greased ass every evening."isplay:none"


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