Popeye Deathly Ill After Eating Tainted Spinach
on 9/15/2006 (0)
Famous American sailor and cultural icon Popeye the Sailor has been bed-ridden much of today after suffering from what appears to be a case of E. coli outbreak.
|Strong to the finish and now quick the to bathroom too thanks to the latest nationwide epidemic. |
"Mr. The Sailor has been suffering from diarrhea and bloody stools," said his doctor, Dr. Hutchinson. "He is very sick and only leaves his bed so as not to soil himself."
Dr. Hutchinson is keeping close watch on Popeye for fear that me may develop kidney failure that could potentially lead to death.
The cause of the E. coli appears to be from the very same spinach that is causing the very same ailment all across the United States. According to his girlfriend Olive Oyl, Popeye ingested massive amounts of spinach earlier today protecting her from the nefarious plots of the evil Bluto.
Close friend of Popeye, J. Wellington Wimpy, has tried to nurse Popeye back to health by offering him numerous hamburgers but Popeye has turned them all away and instead continues to eat the potentially deadly spinach.
"I yam what I yam, and that's all I yam," Popeye commented about this choice before slipping back into unconsciousness.
"Most healthy adults can recover from E. coli poisoning in a matter of a week," said Dr. Hutchinson. "Unfortunately for Mr. The Sailor, the very food he feels is making him stronger is actually causing his sickness. I just pray, for his sake, that we can find some untainted spinach for him to eat less he will certainly parish."g/tds/go.php?si
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