Teddy Bear Has No Remorse After Killing Thousands
on 9/26/2006 (0)
Milford, New Hampshire - Long time teddy bear Bobo has been implicated in 2,500 deaths... trout deaths that is. And despite being labeled as one of the most notorious killers in the history of Milford, he feels no remorse for what he has done.
|The cuddly face of a stone cold killer. |
"Those fish had it coming to them," Bobo told reports earlier this morning. "Always swimming around and spawning like they own the place. It’s disgusting if you ask me."
State officials said Bobo, dressed in a yellow raincoat and hat so that he would look cute and not alert security to his nefarious plot, threw himself into a pool at the Fish and Game Department hatchery earlier this month. His body caused a clog that blocked the flow of oxygen to the pool and suffocated the fish.
Hatcheries supervisor Robert Fawcett said the bear is believe to be the first stuffed toy to cause fatalities at the facility but is fearful he may not be the last.
"In the wild, the teddy bear is the natural enemy of the trout," said Fawcett. "The two species have no doubt had countless battles for dominance of their water and forest habitats. Now that Bobo has exposed a method in which to swiftly deal death to thousands of trout, other teddy bears are bound to try too."
The deaths prompted Fawcett to release a written warning: "TEDDY BEARS entering the facility will be SHOT ON SITE."
He also urged the public to be weary of the intentions of teddy bears and to alert security if any are spotted in the facility. "They may look cute, but keep in mind that they are cold blooded killers," he said.
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