Amanda Peet Pregnant, Tom Cruise Inquires About Eating the Baby
on 9/29/2006 (0)
New York, New York - Amanda Peet and screenwriter David Benioff are expecting a baby and will marry this weekend in an attempt to save their unborn child the shame of being born to parents out of wedlock.
Peet, now 34 but not looking a day over 32, told David Letterman on CBS's "Late Show" on Wednesday that she is four months' pregnant and has been asked by certified weirdo Tom Cruise if he could eat the child.
"See, that's not right," Letterman said. "That's just not right."
"I think it's really funny," she replied.
Despite this clearly insensitive reply, it is believed that Peet and Benioff are leaning against allowing Cruise to eat their child. This speculation is mostly based on the fact that no one other than a scientologist or Mike Tyson would ever consider making such an insane request.
All attempts to contact Cruse for comments on this strange request have failed. It is believed Cruise may be aboard the Scientology cruise ship Freewinds performing acts so unspeakable that we dare not mention them here. It is unclear why he would not just eat his own baby, though rumors persist that he may already have done so.
Peet starred in the movies "Something's Gotta Give, "Syriana" and "The Whole Ten Yards," the latter opposite Matthew Perry, her co-star on her latest project "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip." We also think she may have stared in "Million Dollar Baby", but don't quote us on that.
Benioff's screenwriting credits include numerous movies that have been panned by critics and moviegoers alike. If not for this marriage to Peet, chances are he would soon by spending his time writing made for TV movies for the WB or being dead in a gutter.
Cruise has recently been dropped from his movie contract with Paramount Pictures under alligations of being "fucking insane". He has rarely been seen since, likely hiding in shame with his new wife and child... assuming that one or both of them have not yet been victim to Cruise's insationable hunger."0" style
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