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Canadian Businessman Accidentally Buys Pittsburgh Penguins
by Kris on 10/6/2006 (0)

These are not the Pittsburg Penguins.
Pittsburgh, PA - Canadian business executive Jim Balsillie, whose company makes the BlackBerry wireless messaging device, signed an agreement to buy the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Shortly after signing the agreement, Balsillie was notified that he had just purchased a sports franchise, not a truckload of flightless birds has he had previously thought.

"I heard penguins were for sale," said Balsillie of his gigantic blunder. "Having billions of dollars, I naturally opened my checkbook without investigating the situation."

Balsillie has been a huge fan of penguins since an early age. His parents were killed when he was only six years old and their pet penguin Alfred raised him. Sadly, Alfred was killed in a freak polar bear accident two years ago, though his spirit is still said to roam the countryside, wearing silly top hats that make children and adults alike giggle.

"When mothers lose a chick, they sometimes attempt to steal another mother's chick, usually unsuccessfully as other females in the vicinity assist the defending mother in keeping her chick," said Balsillie. "That doesn’t pertain to today’s news, I just thought you’d like to know."

The Penguins, two-time Stanley Cup champions in the 1990s, were purchased in federal bankruptcy court in 1999 by a group that was led by Hall of Fame Penguins forward Mario Lemieux. Lemieux retired as a player last season and later put the team up for sale.

"Jim is a tremendous businessman and a passionate penguin fan," Lemieux said. "If he puts half the heart into running this franchise as he does making love to his penguin wife Eleanor, fans in Pittsburgh are going to be pleased for many years to come."0" style="display:no


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