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Aliens find name Aliens to be Non-PC
by Kris on 12/4/2002 (4)

Aliens: They're here, and they're asexual.
In a day and age where everyone is trying to be politically correct, even the Communists, another group has now been added to the ranks of those offended by less than kind name-calling and stereotypes. As you have probably guessed by now, this group is of course, Aliens. If you haven't guess this by now, you are a stupid person and will likely be killed in a vain attempt to wipe the drool off of your face.

After years of speculation of their existence, Aliens were finally discovered during a routine dental exam of one Jon B. Alien only months ago. It was realized he was some sort of Alien when they found he had no teeth, mouth, or reproductive organs. Mr. Alien was perhaps the most shocked of them all.

"I never knew my parents," commented Jon, "I was raised by a pack of wolves in the wilds of Idaho, my parents were presumably killed by this pack of wolves. I always suspected I was a bit different, having green skin, communicating completely through telepathy, and being raised by wolves, but I just figured that my parents were Canadian."

After the announcement that Aliens do in fact exist, many more began working their way out of the woodwork. Dozens of new Aliens appeared, many who have been living among us for years under the guise of being Canadians. Many others simply made claims that they "come from France".

"Our secret was out," said one Alien who wished to remain nameless and wished to be referred to as Terrestrially Challenged rather than as an Alien. "It was a good run, we had alot of fun and abducted alot of people, but things have now changed. We can't just go around and abduct people anymore, there are laws that prevent that."

Obliviously they are Aliens now, but for so many years, be believed they "Came from France"
Things indeed have changed. Now Aliens have entered our society and entered our workplaces. They have taken our jobs and burnt our homes, leaving us poor and homeless. Aliens are now working hand and hand with the few remaining employed humans and robots alike. And with this new situation comes new cares that must be addressed.

"Alien is commonly defined as 'Dissimilar, inconsistent, or opposed'" said one offended creature who wished not to be referred to as an Alien, Turd-burglar, or Ass-goblin. "We Terrestrially Challenged are not dissimilar, our two hearts beat just like you humans. If you prick an Alien, does it not bleed? If a tree falls on an Alien in the forest, does it not make a sound? If an Alien listens to Michael Bolton, does it not shed a single tear? We also take offence to the accusations of not being consistent. If there is one thing we are known for, it is anal probes. But if there are two things we are know for, it is anal probes and doing anal probes consistently and relentlessly. Finally, we are not opposed. He have crush thousands of civilizations with little to no opposition through techniques of mind control and alien viruses, very similar as to how we intend on destroying the life here on Earth. Every time someone calls use Aliens, it hurts deep inside our chambered muscular organ. All we ask is to be treated with respect."

And respect is what they are out to get. This movement has began right here in USA, the so called "Land of the Free". Aliens from all across the US have signed petitions asking that the people of the US began to refer to all Aliens as "Terrestrially Challenged". To date, nearly forty signatures have been added


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Comments

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